Why are you going all the way to Ukraine to adopt?
What about all the children here in the U.S.A. who need families?
There are 2,000 children in Michigan who need families, why don't you adopt some of them?
Is it easier to adopt from Ukraine? Is that why you're adopting from there?
All of those are valid questions and I thank you for asking them. I understand the curiosity and I'm the first one to say U.S.A. first.
If you read my blog a bit, especially the one with our story, you'll see that we weren't really looking to adopt at all. We are believers in the Bible and well, we believe that Yahweh (God) just dropped Vlad into our laps. That opened our eyes to the plight of Ukraine orphans.
A few years earlier we had thought about adopting. Finding out that there is an age limit (we are too old) nipped that in the bud. So we let it go, thinking it wasn't for us. Maybe 6 was enough after all.
When Vlad came to us we had no thoughts of adoption. We had no idea there were Ukraine orphans or that they were available for adoption. We were not wealthy and the thought of adopting internationally just was out of our reach.
After having him in our home though everything changed. After going to Ukraine and seeing first hand the orphanages there it changed even more. As I said in the interview I had nightmares every night for months. I saw the faces of the children in my dreams. I knew there was no turning back from this.
So why Ukraine? Well it wasn't our choice but Yahweh's.
What about the children here in Michigan, or the U.S.? Well here are some facts:
Children in the states are allowed to stay in the system until 18 or graduated from high school. In Ukraine they are put out on the streets when they turn 16.
In the states they are given subsidy's and free college and housing. In Ukraine they get nothing. Nada. Not a dime. They are on their own. The boys turn to crime to make money for food, the girls prostitution.
Our Vlad said the girls in his orphanage started sneaking out the orphanage when they turn 15 to make money to buy food because they don't get enough.
It is not easier to adopt from Ukraine. In fact, instead of dealing with a state government and regulations you're now dealing with two federal governments who sometimes disagree with each other. The piles of paperwork, the travel expenses and the fee's are exorbitant. So not it is not easier and it is not less money. You have to be on a mission to take on international teen adoption.
Bottom line children are children. We believe the Bible when it states that true religion is taking care of the widows and orphans. And that in you the orphan finds mercy. No where does it state at the end of those sentences that it should be in your own country.
If we can help some teenagers have a future and a family, something that everyone deserves, it shouldn't matter if they are American or Ukrainian. They are amazing kids who are smart and deserving.
I truly hope this opens some eyes and that some who hadn't thought about adoption will look into it, whether that is here at home in the U.S. or in Ukraine. If more took on this mandate from Yahweh maybe there would be no more orphans.
Sunday, June 15, 2014
Friday, May 16, 2014
Our Adoption Story ... So Far....
Before the story I want to just say that my husband Tom and I never, in a million years, expected to adopt Ukraine teenagers into our family. After all, we had already raised and were still raising six children. But that's what happens when you say yes to Yahweh. And just open your heart to His will for your life. It takes you on unexpected twists and turns. One day you're sitting in your well-ordered life and the next you are in an orphanage half-way around the world with the faces of teenage orphans forever embedded into your memory. You find it hard to sleep at night remembering their precious faces and spend time thinking of ways to help them. Some you bring home to your family but all the rest, well, that's another journey which we are walking out.
As I said one day in August 2012 I was happily playing by the pool with my two kiddo's and had no idea our life was about to be turned upside down by an email. Funny how life takes you on these seemingly side journeys that turn out to be the real road you're supposed to be traveling on. He definitely knows best.
So here is our story....so far....
As I said one day in August 2012 I was happily playing by the pool with my two kiddo's and had no idea our life was about to be turned upside down by an email. Funny how life takes you on these seemingly side journeys that turn out to be the real road you're supposed to be traveling on. He definitely knows best.
So here is our story....so far....
Our Adoption Story
Our story
began in late summer of 2012 when we got an email asking for our help to finish the summer hosting a
teenager from Ukraine. He had come to
the U.S. on an orphan hosting program and the family he stayed with had a
family emergency. We figured that as
parents with 2 teens still at home we could show him a good time. We had 6
children total but 4 were grown and out of the house.
So Vlad came
to our home and our eyes were opened to the plight of Ukraine teenage
orphans. We found out that they are
released, “graduated”, from the orphanage once they turn 16. They have 2 options at that point. One is to just go out and attempt life on
their own. The average Ukraine family
exists on $450 a month. Orphans who are
barely 16 and have no education or skills are at the bottom of the food chain
and most can’t find even menial work.
They get absolutely no help from any organization or the
government. Most will end up in a life
of crime, living off the streets or in human trafficking.
The other
option is to go to trade school. They
can choose from 5 different trades.
Let’s say they choose culinary.
They are put in dorms – no, not like our college dorms here but rat
infested nasty places where no human should ever have to live. They are given 100 Grivna per month – about
$13 U.S. – and with that they have to purchase their food, clothing and any
food they need for cooking school. Most
can’t afford it so instead of actually cooking they spend 8 hours a day reading
cookbooks and then the rest of their time fending off predators. Again, most will end up in a life of crime
just to eat.
Predators
wait for the teens to be released from the orphanages with promises of food,
shelter and jobs. Little do they know
they are now entering the world of human trafficking? 80% of Ukraine teen orphans don’t live past
their 20th birthday.
Once we
learned this we couldn’t let it happen to this boy who was staying with
us. Without even knowing what it would
take we jumped into the international adoption process. What a nightmare. But 7 months and $30,000 later we brought our
new son home on March 2, 2013. He turned
16 the next month. Whew – just in time.
I (Kathe) came
home from two trips to Ukraine and spending time every day in an orphanage that
smelled like sewer, was freezing cold but where the children were all
smiles. They don’t realize what’s
waiting for them as they approach 16.
They have little food and are constantly told that they don’t
matter. No one teaches them anything
because the adults know that most of them won’t survive anyway so what’s the
point. When our son came home he didn’t
even know how to read or do basic math.
He had no expectations of what he could do or become. He had been told for years that he was stupid
when in reality he is very bright.
After coming
home and having nightmares every night about the faces in the orphanage we knew
this was a new path in our lives. Summer
2013 we hosted 3 more boys and found them families. We found families for several more teens that
others had hosted. We put braces on Vlad
and started him at Novi High School.
What an achievement for him!! His
first real school and it was 10th grade. He was on the football team, a dream of his
when he thought about coming to America, and going to his first homecoming
dance.
In October we
got word that one of his best friends from the orphanage, Anya, had been
“graduated” at the end of August and went to trade school. She was found dead, murdered by strangulation
and stabbing. Typical. It tore out Vlad’s heart, and ours. He felt guilty that he wasn’t there to save
her even though, in reality, there was nothing he could have done. We felt terrible because she had been hosted
during the summer by another family but was not adopted and no family found for
her.
Over winter
break we hosted two more teens. We found
a family for one of them and the other, Yuri, stole our hearts. We just knew we had to adopt him. But the prospect seemed overwhelming. How would we come up with another $30K? We were still recuperating from the last adoption
that wiped out our savings. We still had
3 teens at home, all in braces, sports and with other expenses. The mountain of paperwork that would need to
be done – again. The trips back and
forth to Ukraine – again. We took a deep
breath and said yes, just trusting that through raising funds we could do it.
Then we got
an email from our Ukraine facilitator.
Could we possibly take one more?
Anya’s sister, Kristina, was 13 and in dire need of a family. After the loss of her sister she was
despondent thinking that she would end up with the same fate. Our facilitator said it was urgent because
the orphanage she is in would be closed to adoptions starting in the fall due
to the decision of the orphanage director.
Ugh! That means it has to be a
family who is already in process like we were and ready to move really, really
fast, like we were.
We spent our
days working to earn the money needed, doing fundraising and huge amounts of
paperwork for two governments, something called a dossier. Our dossier was almost complete on a day in
early April when I got a message on Facebook from a fellow adoptive mom. She had adopted a teen girl and wondered if I
knew of anyone who was paper ready who might be willing to adopt her daughters’
best friend who was aging out in July.
I sent out an
email asking but no one I knew was already in process with a completed home
study. So I told Tom about her. Since we were already in process and approved
for three it was do-able for us, except the money part. Costs have now climbed another $10,000. He
said yes, let’s do it.
A picture
taken of Anya a couple of years ago by her best friend who was adopted by a
family in New York.
So now we
have to figure out a way to come up with upwards of $50,000. Three different teenagers, three orphanages,
one in the northeast and one in the southeast and one to the west of Kiev in
Ukraine. A lot more travel, more
expenses. And the time is so short that
no mistakes can be made in the process.
Especially for Anya who is aging out in early July.
We can earn
the money ourselves by working but not in the time frame needed. We are working double to do it but it’s just
not going to be fast enough for these teens.
So we’re
doing what we never do – ask. We have
to. For these teens.
We are asking
everyone to help us fund this adoption.
We can’t do it alone. We can
raise them, teach them and feed them but we can’t do this. Not this fast. We need to be able to travel by early summer or
it’s too late for Kristina and Anya.
We are asking
for donations to our adoption fund that we have set up in Paypal. Paypal.com.
Our account is arbonnekathe@msn.com.
Please be sure to mark as gift so no fees are assessed.
Or you can
send a check to us at: Tom & Kathe
Ray, 24870 Portsmouth Avenue, Novi, MI 48374.
Please put in the memo – adoption fund.
I can’t tell
you what this means. There are no words
to explain how these kids live and what happens to them. It has changed our lives.
Hosea 14:3 In
you the orphan finds mercy.
With our
sincerest thanks,
Tom &
Kathe Ray
248-890-6968
P.S. I’m sure many of you have seen the news on
what is happening in Ukraine. We are
still a “GO”. We have been in contact
with our facilitator and adoptions are still progressing.
So please
pass our information out to anyone you know that has a heart for these teen
orphans. We need the help of a village
on this one! It’s a tall order to come
up with this much money this quickly and be ready to travel.
UPDATE as of
April 25th: Great news. Our dossier has been submitted to the Ukraine
SDA. That is one big hurdle over. The time frame to travel is now approximately
60 days or less. We have raised just
over $10,000 of the $50,000 needed so a lot has to happen in the next 60
days. We are trusting that it will come
in.
Thank you for
any support you can give to us.
Ways to help:
Please mark as GIFT
2.
Send
check to: Kathe Ray, 24870 Portsmouth
Avenue, Novi, MI 48374
THANK YOU!
And thank you for passing our story along to others that could possibly help us bring these three teenagers home to their family. I've never been one for asking for anything, especially money, but in this case I have no choice. We simply can't do it in the time frame that it needs to be done by ourselves. We need the help of the village.
Thank you!
Saturday, May 3, 2014
Just Say YES!
Such a simple word which can have so much impact. So many people say no. They have reasons. Justifications. Excuses.
No is an end. It shuts down, shuts off. You don't get past a no. There is nothing.
A yes, on the other hand, opens doors. There are possibilities with yes. Adventures always start with yes.
A first date must start with a yes. A marriage, too. Yes to going to college, or even yes to getting good grades in school. You have to buy in. You have to say yes.
No puts up a wall. Most times insurmountable.
I watch it all the time in my Arbonne business. I put out the information on getting healthy and get 9 no's to every yes. The no's all have reasons. Some sound valid to the hearing but deep down it's still just an excuse.
I also watch it happen in the adoption world. The world of orphan care. There are statistics out there that basically say that if only a small percentage of the world's Christians adopted there would be no more orphans. There were 120 orphans in our son Vlad's orphanage. 120. Yet all but a handful will end up on the streets. Because people say no.
People say things like, "I have no money" (join the club), or "my husband would never go for that" or "I'm done raising children" or a hundred other reasons.
The problem that I see from my vantage point in all of this is that when you say no to an opportunity; whether it is something like Arbonne or adoption, you are saying no to miracles happening in your life. You have made a decision that you don't want the miracles happening to you.
Yesterday I got to watch a miracle unfold. A disrupted adoption of a 13 year old girl. I won't go into the details because they don't matter. All that matters is that someone knew I had a heart for orphans and that I work tirelessly to find families for them. I got an email about this girl asking for my help. After talking with the mom about the girl I put a simple post on Facebook. We now have two families who we are working with to find out which one will be the best fit for her.
Now I really have done nothing. But I get the gift of watching all of this unfold. I probably will never even meet this girl but I got to have a little tiny hand in her life. All because I said YES! When I got the email, I didn't look at the piles (literally piles) of stuff I had to do. It would have been easy to say no. I'm leaving for our global conference in just a few days. I have so much to do my head is spinning. My house is a disaster because people have been dropping things off for our fundraiser garage sale for weeks and the weather has been horrible with no chance of actually holding the sale so my house is piled high.
I have grandbabies coming to stay so my DIL can go to the conference and so, so much to do. But I said yes. Because yes lets me in a little bit to watch Yahweh work. I get to see Him firsthand. I get to watch him as someone calls me out of the blue that would be a perfect fit. I didn't do that - He did! This is so much fun I can't even explain it. All because I said yes.
Yesterday I got a picture of our new daughter, Kristina. I looked at that picture at least 20 times yesterday. She is our new daughter because we said yes. Do we have the money? No. Do we have the time? No. But we said yes anyway. Because yes opens the doors to miracles. Saying yes lets Yahweh in and He is more fun to watch than anything else on this planet. He is AMAZING to watch!
Start saying yes! Yes to the hard things. The things that you think are impossible. Whether it's finally getting fit with Arbonne or saying yes to orphan adoption. Just say yes and let the miracles start happening!
No is an end. It shuts down, shuts off. You don't get past a no. There is nothing.
A yes, on the other hand, opens doors. There are possibilities with yes. Adventures always start with yes.
A first date must start with a yes. A marriage, too. Yes to going to college, or even yes to getting good grades in school. You have to buy in. You have to say yes.
No puts up a wall. Most times insurmountable.
I watch it all the time in my Arbonne business. I put out the information on getting healthy and get 9 no's to every yes. The no's all have reasons. Some sound valid to the hearing but deep down it's still just an excuse.
I also watch it happen in the adoption world. The world of orphan care. There are statistics out there that basically say that if only a small percentage of the world's Christians adopted there would be no more orphans. There were 120 orphans in our son Vlad's orphanage. 120. Yet all but a handful will end up on the streets. Because people say no.
People say things like, "I have no money" (join the club), or "my husband would never go for that" or "I'm done raising children" or a hundred other reasons.
The problem that I see from my vantage point in all of this is that when you say no to an opportunity; whether it is something like Arbonne or adoption, you are saying no to miracles happening in your life. You have made a decision that you don't want the miracles happening to you.
Yesterday I got to watch a miracle unfold. A disrupted adoption of a 13 year old girl. I won't go into the details because they don't matter. All that matters is that someone knew I had a heart for orphans and that I work tirelessly to find families for them. I got an email about this girl asking for my help. After talking with the mom about the girl I put a simple post on Facebook. We now have two families who we are working with to find out which one will be the best fit for her.
Now I really have done nothing. But I get the gift of watching all of this unfold. I probably will never even meet this girl but I got to have a little tiny hand in her life. All because I said YES! When I got the email, I didn't look at the piles (literally piles) of stuff I had to do. It would have been easy to say no. I'm leaving for our global conference in just a few days. I have so much to do my head is spinning. My house is a disaster because people have been dropping things off for our fundraiser garage sale for weeks and the weather has been horrible with no chance of actually holding the sale so my house is piled high.
I have grandbabies coming to stay so my DIL can go to the conference and so, so much to do. But I said yes. Because yes lets me in a little bit to watch Yahweh work. I get to see Him firsthand. I get to watch him as someone calls me out of the blue that would be a perfect fit. I didn't do that - He did! This is so much fun I can't even explain it. All because I said yes.
Yesterday I got a picture of our new daughter, Kristina. I looked at that picture at least 20 times yesterday. She is our new daughter because we said yes. Do we have the money? No. Do we have the time? No. But we said yes anyway. Because yes opens the doors to miracles. Saying yes lets Yahweh in and He is more fun to watch than anything else on this planet. He is AMAZING to watch!
Start saying yes! Yes to the hard things. The things that you think are impossible. Whether it's finally getting fit with Arbonne or saying yes to orphan adoption. Just say yes and let the miracles start happening!
Friday, April 25, 2014
It Makes A Difference!
About a year ago we decided to go gluten free. It really made a difference in how I feel, headaches for Garrett and I, and disappearing belly fat. It's been a good change. The biggest problem became finding a good gluten free flour to make breads and other baked goods.
First there is the expense issue. You buy this tiny little bag of flour for $7 or $8 and you need at least 2 of them to make 4 loaves of bread. And our house goes through about 8 loaves a week. And some of those flours don't taste very good and in fact some taste down right nasty.
A few months ago we found a great deal on a 5 pound bag of Namaste flour at our local Costco. Hmmmmm.....how did it taste. The price was right at around $13. Tom made bread and it was delicious. OK! We had a winner!
Imagine our disappointment when a few weeks later the Namaste was gone and in it's place was another brand. It was slightly less money at about $12 for 5 pounds. So we bought a couple of bags. Tom made bread and it didn't act the same or taste nearly as good. Bummer.
So we hunted the regular grocery stores and went back to buying little bags but still didn't have the success or tastiness of the Namaste brand. On our next trip to Costco I mentioned to the cashier our disappointment and they suggested we write out a comment card. I was skeptical. Did anyone really read them? Would it make any difference? After all I'm just one customer.
Three weeks later we were back at Costco, just this past week. You would have thought we won a million dollars. There in the baking isle were those pretty maroon bags of flour by Namaste! They listened. We were elated!!!!
So Tom suggested I write an email to Namaste thanking them. I did that yesterday. I also wrote another comment card to Costco thanking them. Today I got an email from a wonderful lady at Namaste who thanked me for suggesting it to Costco. She said they had been in negotiations with them for weeks and couldn't come to terms. Now the shipments are rolling out to Costco's all over! Now I can't know for sure my little comment card did it but it sure feels nice to think it did.
Thanks Namaste and thanks Costco! We have a happy gluten free home here!
First there is the expense issue. You buy this tiny little bag of flour for $7 or $8 and you need at least 2 of them to make 4 loaves of bread. And our house goes through about 8 loaves a week. And some of those flours don't taste very good and in fact some taste down right nasty.
A few months ago we found a great deal on a 5 pound bag of Namaste flour at our local Costco. Hmmmmm.....how did it taste. The price was right at around $13. Tom made bread and it was delicious. OK! We had a winner!
Imagine our disappointment when a few weeks later the Namaste was gone and in it's place was another brand. It was slightly less money at about $12 for 5 pounds. So we bought a couple of bags. Tom made bread and it didn't act the same or taste nearly as good. Bummer.
So we hunted the regular grocery stores and went back to buying little bags but still didn't have the success or tastiness of the Namaste brand. On our next trip to Costco I mentioned to the cashier our disappointment and they suggested we write out a comment card. I was skeptical. Did anyone really read them? Would it make any difference? After all I'm just one customer.
Three weeks later we were back at Costco, just this past week. You would have thought we won a million dollars. There in the baking isle were those pretty maroon bags of flour by Namaste! They listened. We were elated!!!!
So Tom suggested I write an email to Namaste thanking them. I did that yesterday. I also wrote another comment card to Costco thanking them. Today I got an email from a wonderful lady at Namaste who thanked me for suggesting it to Costco. She said they had been in negotiations with them for weeks and couldn't come to terms. Now the shipments are rolling out to Costco's all over! Now I can't know for sure my little comment card did it but it sure feels nice to think it did.
Thanks Namaste and thanks Costco! We have a happy gluten free home here!
Saturday, April 19, 2014
Mind Your Manners
Yesterday I took Vlad to the shoe store to buy him a new pair of tennis shoes for his birthday. I was standing in line when a woman just cut right in front of me and went to the counter. She started yelling at the clerk for something that was obviously not his fault. On a previous purchase she was charged an extra $3 for something. He told her right off that they would take it off her charge but she just kept going on and on and on. She just wanted to rant. When she had her $3 and stormed off he just looked deflated. She never even looked at me, the person she had cut off.
We walked up and I smiled and said to him, don't let anyone rent space in your head. He said, "I've been dealing with people like her all day long, I just don't get it". I said, "people are in their own heads and thinking selfishly. When you've been to a Ukraine orphanage and see how they live you don't care about stupid stuff like this anymore".
I went on to talk to him about how great he handled the situation and that to be able to let things like that go was a great ability. He had stayed calm throughout the tirade. I complimented him on his behavior.
When we left he thanked me and told me that I was the best customer he had had in weeks. How sad. How sad that simply being polite makes me the best customer in weeks. I am sad that people are so into themselves that they don't see the damage they are causing to others.
As we walked out of the store I talked to Vlad about what we experienced. I asked him what he thought of the woman's behavior. He said she was mean. I told him that mature people don't act like that. Good people don't act like that. He said, "I know, mom". I said, "Vlad, I don't ever want you to act like that". He said, "I won't, mom".
I'm sure the woman had some things going on in her life. But is that an excuse? I hear people give excuses for their behavior all of the time. As if because they are going through something that gives them a right to ignore manners. To put their garbage out on others. To be mean and rude is OK because they are having a bad day.
Character and integrity are things that don't seem to have value anymore. To have a sales clerk deal with customers like that day in and day out is just wrong. What is happening to us that we don't care about how we treat others?
It's become a bad habit. We grow into it one bad moment at a time and then it becomes a part of us and even who we are. We are the person who rides roughshod over others and we don't even realize that we're doing it.
Mind your manners. My grandmother used to say that continually. As a society we need to mind our manners. We need to consciously think about how we interact with others. That sales clerk is someone's son, someone's grandson, someone's friend, boyfriend or husband. He belongs to someone. If he were your son would you want someone to treat him like you are treating him?
Make today a day to consciously think about how you are with others. And maybe even go one step further and do the unexpected and give them a compliment or word of encouragement. Not only will you probably be the one bright spot in their day, but you'll walk away with a happy heart, knowing you made a difference.
We walked up and I smiled and said to him, don't let anyone rent space in your head. He said, "I've been dealing with people like her all day long, I just don't get it". I said, "people are in their own heads and thinking selfishly. When you've been to a Ukraine orphanage and see how they live you don't care about stupid stuff like this anymore".
I went on to talk to him about how great he handled the situation and that to be able to let things like that go was a great ability. He had stayed calm throughout the tirade. I complimented him on his behavior.
When we left he thanked me and told me that I was the best customer he had had in weeks. How sad. How sad that simply being polite makes me the best customer in weeks. I am sad that people are so into themselves that they don't see the damage they are causing to others.
As we walked out of the store I talked to Vlad about what we experienced. I asked him what he thought of the woman's behavior. He said she was mean. I told him that mature people don't act like that. Good people don't act like that. He said, "I know, mom". I said, "Vlad, I don't ever want you to act like that". He said, "I won't, mom".
I'm sure the woman had some things going on in her life. But is that an excuse? I hear people give excuses for their behavior all of the time. As if because they are going through something that gives them a right to ignore manners. To put their garbage out on others. To be mean and rude is OK because they are having a bad day.
Character and integrity are things that don't seem to have value anymore. To have a sales clerk deal with customers like that day in and day out is just wrong. What is happening to us that we don't care about how we treat others?
It's become a bad habit. We grow into it one bad moment at a time and then it becomes a part of us and even who we are. We are the person who rides roughshod over others and we don't even realize that we're doing it.
Make today a day to consciously think about how you are with others. And maybe even go one step further and do the unexpected and give them a compliment or word of encouragement. Not only will you probably be the one bright spot in their day, but you'll walk away with a happy heart, knowing you made a difference.
Thursday, April 17, 2014
How a Heart Grows!
I had a call from a good friend of mine today while driving. We had a conversation about adding more children to your life and how you can possibly love another child as much as you love the one or ones you already have. Probably every parent who is bringing a second child into their family has had the same thought. When I was pregnant with child #2 I wondered how I could love him as much as I loved child #1. It seemed impossible because that love was so huge. But the second that baby is handed to you your heart just expands and you fall in love all over again. Then as you add more children you just know that your heart will keep expanding.
When my boys were young I got re-married and my husband had two children. I wondered, "could I love them"? I hadn't given birth and didn't even meet them until they were 4 and 5. Today they are 25 and 26 and I call them my love children. I love them because I love them, not because I gave birth to them. My heart expanded to make room for them. To me, they were mine to be loved, cared for and protected no differently than the ones I gave birth to. Amazing thing this parent love.
Then we added two more and the heart grew bigger.
Then we met Vlad. OK this was different altogether. This boy was not only 15 years old but from a different country, culture and spoke another language. How was this going to work? One day we sat down with him and asked him if he wanted to be a part of our family, our son. He said yes. Truly in that instant he became our son and I fell in love with him just like my others. Putting him on a plane to go back to Ukraine that August day was one of the hardest things I've ever done. He was my son and I was sending him across the world into who knows who kind of life, without being able to watch over him. How did this happen, this love thing?
So the next 6 months became fraught with mother's anxiety, working at mach speed to finish paperwork to get him home where he belonged. Seeing him again in that orphanage I was overflowing with happiness. My son safe with me again!
Now we have three teens over there. Two of them we haven't met and yet they are mine. Yuri and I talk every few days and there are a lot of "I love you's" going back and forth. The two girls, well, even though we've never met they are my daughters and I love them. I can't explain it. I'm just so grateful to Yahweh that this kind of love exists. The kind of love that when you hear your daughters voice over the telephone for the first time your heart just about bursts with happiness. You listen carefully to every sound of it, wanting to remember how she sounds, what the tone is and hoping to glean everything you can from it. Trying to figure out if she's happy, excited, scared or what? Your mother ears are on full force. (You mothers know what I'm talking about).
So hearts just grow. I can't explain it. It's a miracle. And we are so blessed to be able to experience this miracle.
When my boys were young I got re-married and my husband had two children. I wondered, "could I love them"? I hadn't given birth and didn't even meet them until they were 4 and 5. Today they are 25 and 26 and I call them my love children. I love them because I love them, not because I gave birth to them. My heart expanded to make room for them. To me, they were mine to be loved, cared for and protected no differently than the ones I gave birth to. Amazing thing this parent love.
Then we added two more and the heart grew bigger.
Then we met Vlad. OK this was different altogether. This boy was not only 15 years old but from a different country, culture and spoke another language. How was this going to work? One day we sat down with him and asked him if he wanted to be a part of our family, our son. He said yes. Truly in that instant he became our son and I fell in love with him just like my others. Putting him on a plane to go back to Ukraine that August day was one of the hardest things I've ever done. He was my son and I was sending him across the world into who knows who kind of life, without being able to watch over him. How did this happen, this love thing?
So the next 6 months became fraught with mother's anxiety, working at mach speed to finish paperwork to get him home where he belonged. Seeing him again in that orphanage I was overflowing with happiness. My son safe with me again!
Now we have three teens over there. Two of them we haven't met and yet they are mine. Yuri and I talk every few days and there are a lot of "I love you's" going back and forth. The two girls, well, even though we've never met they are my daughters and I love them. I can't explain it. I'm just so grateful to Yahweh that this kind of love exists. The kind of love that when you hear your daughters voice over the telephone for the first time your heart just about bursts with happiness. You listen carefully to every sound of it, wanting to remember how she sounds, what the tone is and hoping to glean everything you can from it. Trying to figure out if she's happy, excited, scared or what? Your mother ears are on full force. (You mothers know what I'm talking about).
So hearts just grow. I can't explain it. It's a miracle. And we are so blessed to be able to experience this miracle.
Monday, April 14, 2014
Good-bye Ex-Friend
I was reminded today why I don't much like "churchy-preachy" Christians. I know that sounds harsh but today brought back bad memories of "holier than thou" and why we don't go to church anymore.
I had the gall to post a picture of a gift that I received from my job. I do my job because not only do I love what I do (helping people get healthy) but it pays the bills and allows Tom and I to stay at home and raise our family and go off across the world to bring home teenage orphans. Most would think that is pretty cool. Not this person.
He seemed to think that going after building a big business was anti-Christ. Hmmm...I said to him the more money I earn, the more I can help orphans, which after reading the Bible through a few times was a pretty clear directive from Yahweh (God). He stuck to his guns that it was better to spend time in prayer than actually "doing" anything. Then he said that he would pray for me and that he loves me. Ugh!
Now this after a day of calling USCIS to check on our paperwork status, working with our mortgage company to refinance our house to have the money to adopt, working on this monstrosity of a yard sale and of course, working my Arbonne business. Lots of irons in the fire.
So some guy who thinks prayer is more important than doing for the orphans has the nerve to call me out because I'm happy that I earned some bling for doing a good job.
Now others have gotten the same kind of messages and I've told them to just let it go and keep your eyes focused where they need to be. Why am I not taking my own advice?
Because I'm pretty fed up with the ones who aren't doing anything telling us going through this process what we should be doing instead. Would you rather I don't work? How would my family be supported? Would you rather I make just enough money to pay my bills and buy groceries? Then who is going to take care of the orphans of the world?
I'm at a loss. What do you want from me? From us? From all of us?
I work for a company that has their goal to be the #1 company in giving back. We have people funding whole orphanages, building schools, paying for medical mission trips and so on. Our company has a foundation that helps at risk teenagers. We have people with heart who are willing to do the hard stuff and help.
Now I'm not saying that prayer isn't important. Believe me when I say that most days I may not walk around on my knees but in my head there is almost a constant conversation between Him and me. He gets me through. He not only listens but He tells me in a hundred ways that He is right there with me.
Just a few days ago Tom and I were talking about beds/bedrooms and sleeping arrangements for three new teens. We realized that we just needed one twin mattress and we would be all set. I said, when it gets a little closer I'll put it out there and someone probably has one they don't need anymore. We woke up the next morning to an email from a friend asking if we could use a new twin mattress they had but don't need anymore.
Yeah, He listens. And yes, He talks back.
I will also take all the prayers I can get from others. And if all you can do is pray, then pray your heart out for us and these orphans.
Just don't think it's OK to sit back and preach at those who are actually doing something, telling us that it takes a lot more than that to get into heaven. I say to you that I don't think you have the slightest idea of what it takes to get into the Kingdom. And maybe you should re-read the parable of the talents. He who has been given and does nothing with it gets it taken away. And at the very least if you can't say something supportive then you shouldn't say anything at all.
James tells us that faith without works is dead. He then goes on to tell us what those works are. I seem to remember the word orphan in there somewhere.
I'll do whatever I need to do to take care of one more orphan, then one more, then one more and I'll do it for the rest of my life. Not only is that going to take prayer, but a mountain of other stuff as well. My goal is to make millions of dollars. YES I said MILLIONS. Because I know what money like that is going to do for these teen orphans. If He gave me the talent then He expects me to use it for Him and His will.
The last thing someone like me needs is someone like you in my world. Tearing down in the name of Him. I believe He would be disgusted. I know I am.
So good-bye my self-righteous ex-friend. I hope you enjoy your world. You don't belong in mine.
I know this has been a bit sarcastic. Not my normal stuff. But today it's simply my opinion.
I had the gall to post a picture of a gift that I received from my job. I do my job because not only do I love what I do (helping people get healthy) but it pays the bills and allows Tom and I to stay at home and raise our family and go off across the world to bring home teenage orphans. Most would think that is pretty cool. Not this person.
He seemed to think that going after building a big business was anti-Christ. Hmmm...I said to him the more money I earn, the more I can help orphans, which after reading the Bible through a few times was a pretty clear directive from Yahweh (God). He stuck to his guns that it was better to spend time in prayer than actually "doing" anything. Then he said that he would pray for me and that he loves me. Ugh!
Now this after a day of calling USCIS to check on our paperwork status, working with our mortgage company to refinance our house to have the money to adopt, working on this monstrosity of a yard sale and of course, working my Arbonne business. Lots of irons in the fire.
So some guy who thinks prayer is more important than doing for the orphans has the nerve to call me out because I'm happy that I earned some bling for doing a good job.
Now others have gotten the same kind of messages and I've told them to just let it go and keep your eyes focused where they need to be. Why am I not taking my own advice?
Because I'm pretty fed up with the ones who aren't doing anything telling us going through this process what we should be doing instead. Would you rather I don't work? How would my family be supported? Would you rather I make just enough money to pay my bills and buy groceries? Then who is going to take care of the orphans of the world?
I'm at a loss. What do you want from me? From us? From all of us?
I work for a company that has their goal to be the #1 company in giving back. We have people funding whole orphanages, building schools, paying for medical mission trips and so on. Our company has a foundation that helps at risk teenagers. We have people with heart who are willing to do the hard stuff and help.
Now I'm not saying that prayer isn't important. Believe me when I say that most days I may not walk around on my knees but in my head there is almost a constant conversation between Him and me. He gets me through. He not only listens but He tells me in a hundred ways that He is right there with me.
Just a few days ago Tom and I were talking about beds/bedrooms and sleeping arrangements for three new teens. We realized that we just needed one twin mattress and we would be all set. I said, when it gets a little closer I'll put it out there and someone probably has one they don't need anymore. We woke up the next morning to an email from a friend asking if we could use a new twin mattress they had but don't need anymore.
Yeah, He listens. And yes, He talks back.
I will also take all the prayers I can get from others. And if all you can do is pray, then pray your heart out for us and these orphans.
Just don't think it's OK to sit back and preach at those who are actually doing something, telling us that it takes a lot more than that to get into heaven. I say to you that I don't think you have the slightest idea of what it takes to get into the Kingdom. And maybe you should re-read the parable of the talents. He who has been given and does nothing with it gets it taken away. And at the very least if you can't say something supportive then you shouldn't say anything at all.
James tells us that faith without works is dead. He then goes on to tell us what those works are. I seem to remember the word orphan in there somewhere.
I'll do whatever I need to do to take care of one more orphan, then one more, then one more and I'll do it for the rest of my life. Not only is that going to take prayer, but a mountain of other stuff as well. My goal is to make millions of dollars. YES I said MILLIONS. Because I know what money like that is going to do for these teen orphans. If He gave me the talent then He expects me to use it for Him and His will.
The last thing someone like me needs is someone like you in my world. Tearing down in the name of Him. I believe He would be disgusted. I know I am.
So good-bye my self-righteous ex-friend. I hope you enjoy your world. You don't belong in mine.
I know this has been a bit sarcastic. Not my normal stuff. But today it's simply my opinion.
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