tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55335067003681341682024-02-20T16:14:40.440-05:00Simply My OpinionEnter my way of looking at life, raising a family and adoption plus anything else that jumps out at me. My husband Tom and I are raising or have raised 11 children. We also have 5, soon to be 6, grandchildren. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03388067627182097653noreply@blogger.comBlogger29125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5533506700368134168.post-28866969884632628442014-09-12T16:30:00.002-04:002014-09-12T16:30:55.277-04:00Adoption Update: One Week Home Whoo Hoo we are almost over jet lag! Settling into things here. Silly me decided to jump into an Arbonne detox on Monday and wowza those must-have daily ice cream cones in Ukraine are coming back to bite me big time. Detoxing off of sugar is NOT fun!! I guess I could have waited to at least get past the jet lag first. Come Monday I should be back to my normal high energy self but right now I'm struggling to stay awake past 6 p.m. Last night I kept my eyes open to a whole 7:45 p.m.<br />
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The teens. The home teens are doing good. They are all happy mom is home. Vlad has grown up this summer and matured far past my expectations. Stopping in at the bank and orthodontist all I heard was how mature he was and how he is opening up and a joy to be around. Garrett is happy with lots of hugs and Katherine now can talk to me to her hearts content. We're all happy.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A game of Sorry and facial masks! Home School English and good skin, too!</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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So how are the Ukraine teens doing? Settling in. Daniel is a workhorse when it comes to school. He will do it for hours. They are all working on Rosetta Stone American English, a phonics program and IXL math to learn both math and English math terms. Anna is the one that needs the most encouragement. She wants to have it learned already and not put the time into it. Yuri has a good command of English and after several conversations we've decided to let him go to the high school. We went there to enroll him and met up with the ESL teacher who has Vlad. I cannot say enough amazing things about Miss Shannon Hadley at Novi H.S. She is simply amazing and has been such an encouragement to Vlad. Yuri will go in Monday for some testing with Ms. Hadley and setting up his classes then start officially on Tuesday.<br />
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Ms. Hadley also gave me a bunch of Rosetta Stone workbooks and study guides today, one for each of our Russian learners including Vlad. She is excited to have Yuri and one of these days the other two when they're ready. I'm happy to have the workbooks. I'm happy to have the support. It really makes a difference.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yuri helping dad clear a downed tree</td></tr>
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The two girls are getting along well and have had several fashion shows of Katherine's clothes and the bags of donated clothes. They are both in heaven although Katherine is not happy that her feet are the same size as mine and not Anna's. We both have boats so none of the donated shoes fit her. I keep telling her that's why she's such a good runner. It doesn't seem to make her happy. LOL<br />
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So all in all we're settling in to being a family. One week home and it's flown by. I'm so thankful to be home. <br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">New Bikes!</td></tr>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03388067627182097653noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5533506700368134168.post-79743539900944650042014-09-12T10:51:00.002-04:002014-09-12T14:56:21.626-04:00You're Such a Nice Person! HA!There are some common things people say to me when I mention adopting teenagers from Ukraine. I hear them over and over again and always reply the same way. I wonder if other adopting parents hear them. They aren't bad things and I am so happy when people are interested in what we did. Maybe they will remember and talk to others about teen adoption. I'm not upset when they ask. They are curious as I would be had I not gone through this. Especially since I'm a naturally curious person anyway. If you are a friend or family of someone who has adopted maybe you've said these things yourself.<br />
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First a disclaimer. You might read what I'm about to write and think, wow, those people should never raise kids. They are mean. Yup. I'll be the first to admit it. But we turn out pretty great adults so I guess how we do it works. I read a blog about loving your spouse. It resonated with me. It's not about love, it's about doing what's right whether you love or not. Because you don't always love them. Sometimes you get mad at them. Same with your kids, bio or adopted. Sometimes you do what you're supposed to do in spite of how they are acting.<br />
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So here are three things I hear a lot.<br />
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1. You are such a nice person. As a matter of fact I am a nice person. But I didn't travel half-way around the world and spend 11 weeks bouncing around horrid roads and fighting paperwork snafu's and being away from my home and family because I'm nice. You don't have to be a nice person to adopt. I actually know some people who adopt who aren't very nice at all. I also know a lot of nice people who don't adopt. Nice is not a requirement of adoption. <br />
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I am a nice person and my husband is a very nice person (yes he is nicer than me) but that is not why we adopted. We adopted because it was the right thing to do and it's what the Bible tells us to do. "Take care of the widows and orphans in their distress and live a right life". James 1:27. So, we are not doing it because we're nice, we're doing it because we are obedient to Yahweh. Because there are orphans in the world that live in terrible conditions and they should have a family. <br />
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2. You must like kids. Ha! Not really. Seriously I'm sure I'll get a lot of grief on this one. Kids are not particularly nice. They make a lot of work, they fight you on everything (especially when you're working hard to train them up in the way they should go), they are messy, they are messy (yes, I repeated that on purpose), they eat A LOT, they back talk and I could go on and on. They make you endlessly tired from the moment they arrive until they are on their own. (This is no different than bio-kids, by the way).<br />
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I like them sometimes. When they watch for you to see if you're watching them run a race in cross country and come up afterwards to give you a huge hug and say thanks for being here mom you forget momentarily that you've been standing there freezing for 3 hours and wishing you were at home. I like them when they ask to say the blessing over the meal after months of saying the Bible is stupid. I like them when they do something without being told or when they help other a fellow kid without us having to force them. I like them sometimes.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#15 out of over 400 runners - worth being there!</td></tr>
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Parenting is not about liking. It's about doing the right thing whether you like them or not. Being the mean parent when you have to and being there to listen when they are having a rough day. Calling them out on bad behavior and teaching them the right way to do things even when you're dead tired and just want to go to bed. Or have one moment to yourself. Or take a shower in peace. <br />
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We did not adopt because we "like" kids. I refer back to #1. We adopted because we are obedient and we are doing our best to raise these kids to be great adults who are independent and don't suck the life out of us or society. Who stand on their own two feet and not look for handouts. As I tell my kids, I am not your friend. Maybe I'll be your friend when you turn 25. That is entirely up to you. <br />
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3. I could never do what you are doing. Actually yes, you can. Anyone can. There are no requirements to adopting except be willing to take on another person and raise them to be self-supportive. There are teens all over this world who need a person just like you. Just say yes (wrote a whole blog article on that one word - http://opinionentitled.blogspot.com/2014/05/just-say-yes.html) and start filling out the necessary paperwork. <br />
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Lots of excuses.....Here are just a couple of the most popular. <br />
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Single? There are lots of places that accept single parents.<br />
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No money? HA! We could have fallen back on this. We did fundraisers and took out a loan. Or adopt out of the foster care system which still takes some money but not the tens of thousands international adoption takes.<br />
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It's hard. Really? (Said this with a spike to my voice and raised eyebrows). Yes, it is hard. It's the hard road. The one the Bible talks about. The one that is narrow and few are on it and it's hard, darn hard. Harder than hard. Some days excruciatingly hard. THAT is the whole point. Yahweh doesn't reward for the easy stuff. He asks us to do the hard stuff, the stuff we DON'T want to do. That's how Tom and I know it's what He wants. Because we DO NOT want to do it. We look up and ask, "really?". Then we shrug and say, "yes".<br />
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Seriously we did not want to adopt - ever. Or adopt again once we adopted one. Nor do we want to go there and adopt again, but we will go back for our daughter who is stuck there. But this life we live is not about us and what we want, it's about obedience to Him, no matter what.<br />
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I want you to really get this. This is not about loving a child. This is about doing the right thing. I believe we have gotten so wrapped up in our current society which teaches "if it's right for me then I'll do it" that we've forgotten that our way is not Yahweh's way. His way is be obedient to Him whether you like it or not. It's doing the hard things regardless of our feelings. Feelings mess everything up. That's why the Bible tells us not to trust what is in our hearts. Feelings fool us.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">6 Amazing Teens</td></tr>
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Now before you think we are absolutely horrid parents let me say this. We do like being parents to a brood of teenagers simply because no matter how hard something is or whether you wanted to do it or not, there is joy to be found. The book of Philippians talks about joy in spite of circumstances. There is also a sense of fulfillment and responsibility. The contentment of a job well done. Watching kids that had no future begin to fulfill one is joyful all on it's own. Watching them complete milestones is joyful. There is a lot of laughter and fun in our home. Because to do a thing you're asked to do but do it with a bad attitude is almost worse than not doing it at all. <br />
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So we will do this hard task, and any others that are asked of us, and we will do it with fun and joy. We will make the best of hard situations. We will bond with our new children over homework and biking to the park and we will get through the silent treatments and storming around the house because they get mad at us. And we will move one more step forward in this parenting journey.<br />
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This has been Simply My Opinion!<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03388067627182097653noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5533506700368134168.post-1844578587251404762014-09-10T13:14:00.000-04:002014-09-10T13:14:02.913-04:00Flashback Adoption: August 6th Ukraine<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">From time to time you'll find a flashback article. These are things I've written that either have not been published or were published to our super secret members only Facebook group. Now that we are home safe and sound they will slowly but surely be making it to the blog for more to enjoy, learn from our mistakes and just have a good laugh. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Wednesday August 6, 2014 Zaporozhye, Ukraine</span><br />
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<div class="_5pbx userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> THIS is the long and
never-ending day. Grab yourself a cup of something yummy and enjoy our
ride! We spent
most of the day either waiting or driving and we were up for 22+ hours! We were in Zaporozhye region, Ukraine, the day after picking Anna and Daniel up from their orphanage which is a nearby teeny, tiny village filled with goats and chickens and gardens.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> We woke
up at 5:55 to go to the kids’ room to wake them up for breakfast.
Knocked on the door and before I could put my key in the lock Daniel
opened the door. They had gotten up at 5, ironed their clothes, gotten
dressed, made the beds (they didn’t know maids would be doing that), and were
sitting on the beds waiting for me to get there. Wow!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> We all
met downstairs for the breakfast buffet at 6:30 and out the door
by 7 to drive to the orphanage to meet with the director and the lawyer
for the orphanage who was hopefully going to help us straighten out this
mess we were in. As some of you know we had a major issue with Anna's birth certificate not listing her DOB as the same as on the court decree. Everything must match exactly and the official date was July 7th. Court documents listed it as June 7th. Later we found paperwork that also listed September 7th. Craziness. She has no idea and over the years has celebrated on all three dates. Her official date from now on is July 7th. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">We got to the orphanage at 7:30 and Dima (our amazing translator) said wait here in the foyer where
there are a couple of benches. (VERY hard benches).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> Daniel pulled out an
English/Russian dictionary that has seen better days and he opened it up
and started saying words to himself. I realized it’s something he does
a lot. He has been teaching himself English, long before he knew we
would adopt him and long after his chance of being adopted had passed. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Who was this kid who was teaching himself a language from a country he
would have little chance at ever visiting let alone live in? At 17 he
had almost zero chance of ever being adopted and visa’s to the U.S.A.
from Ukraine for orphans just do not happen. Why was he putting so much
effort in? Because he had faith. Like the scene in “Facing the
Giants” plant the field and Yahweh will provide the water. Build it and
they will come. Daniel was planting the seeds despite the odds that
were against him. I looked at him and thought, this boy is something
very special. A nugget of gold that everyone passed over time and time
again because of his age, his tiny stutter, his face. I wanted to just
hug him and cry at that point because I realized what we had been given.
And so happy that he was going to be able to fulfill the potential that
Yahweh had given him. It will be fun to watch him grow into a man.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
I held my hand out for the book and he handed it to me. I pointed at a
word and he said it, then if he pronounced it correctly I nodded. If
not, I said it then he said it. We did that for about a half hour. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
There are no other children here. They are all at camp. There are a few
workers but that’s it. An empty orphanage. We sit and Dima goes off to
meet with the lawyer and director. And we sit, and sit and sit. And
sit some more. The minutes then hours tick by. It’s now 4 hours later, 11:30 a.m., and
we are all antsy. There is nothing to do. We’ve walked around the
orphanage but already took pictures the first time we were here and most
rooms are all locked up. Finally I decide to go see if I can find out
anything so I take Anna with me to go find Dima. He is there with the
lawyer in a tiny, hot room with one little fan blowing. He is sweating
profusely. He looks up and me and shakes his head. Ugh, not good.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
They are having trouble getting everyone together and agreeing to have a
special court to fix this. I remind him we need to check out of the
hotel by 2 and need 45 minutes to get there and get our stuff out before
that. He remembers but shrugs his shoulders like I don’t know if we
can do that. This is most important. So Anna and I go back downstairs
to wait more. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> Then I remember I have a pack of UNO cards in the
car. Tom goes out to get them. Daniel finds 2 little chairs and we
sit, the 4 of us, playing UNO on the bench. They start learning their
colors in English and numbers, too. We have a lot of fun and laugh a
lot. We realize that these two not only get along well with each other
but they are very quick to laugh. I wonder, how can someone who has had
their life laugh so easily? I think why don’t I? I’m a pretty serious
girl (which is why Yahweh gave me a husband who makes me laugh) but
these kids…..you would think they would be sad and serious but they
aren’t. They are happy and smile easily. They are an absolute joy to
be around.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> At 12:30 we ask Daniel if there is a store around
within walking distance. We are all getting hungry and there is no food
anywhere. We find out that 1 km away is a little market so we all jump
up, happy to have something to do. We walk along the dirt road and
past the darling little houses with massive gardens and think, what a
wonderful way to live. They have no grass yards here like we do at
home. Manicured to the nth degree. Here they fill their yards with
fruit trees, flowers, tomatoes, peppers and more. At first they look
just wild and unkempt but then after you really look you realize they
have little pathways, benches, and there is a method to them. In a
word, they are functional, and beautiful at the same time. To walk out
of your door and pick your vegetables and herbs, to pick a few pears
from your tree and go inside and stand by a huge window to make your
dinner. How peaceful it all seems. I wonder why we need grass lawns
with a steady stream of pesticides and fertilizers to keep them
“beautiful”. Then pay for gasoline for lawn mowers to keep them a
certain height. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> Chickens run everywhere and goats are by the
side of the road, Ukraine’s natural weed eaters. A few cows here and
there. There is one word that comes to my mind over and over again –
peace. </span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Showing off her dried fish before she ate it</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> So we get to the little market and go inside. We end up
buying 4 large bottles of water, no gas. Water here comes 3 ways,
carbonated (gas), extra-carbonated and no carbonation. I’ve made the
mistake a few times of getting gas. Tom is a fan of it. I'm not.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
There isn’t much else except candy bars, alcohol, sausages, dried fish and ice cream.
We opt for 4 ice cream bars. Anna gets some dried fish. Then we go out to the little area they had
outside with a picnic table. It gives me the chance to people watch.
The market was the town “place to be” and there was a constant stream of
people in and out of it. A very large man rode his bike with his
little daughter in front of him to buy some things. Three little ones
no older than 6 came together down the road, holding hands and little
sacks. They went into the market and out again a few minutes later with
things in their sacks. A woman in a beautiful dress and<i>
</i>heels, yes, I said heels (5" heels), rode her bike to the market and then left with a bag tied to her
bike. A man walked up and into the market then out again with a piece
of bread, sausage and cup of beer. He sat down at the next table and
ate his lunch. I'm having fun watching everyone and wonder how these women ride bikes all over in dresses and heels.</span><br />
<br />
<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><a href="https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/p235x165/10526142_857355677608024_9191816406897469635_n.jpg?oh=8fb10a634ae41cbec2b02cafdf792331&oe=548D03A0&__gda__=1420037702_3425d554146115f3a0512cf870b95eb6" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="Outside the orphanage. My new shirt that Anna, the pastors wife, gave to me." border="0" class="_46-i img" height="313" src="https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/p235x165/10526142_857355677608024_9191816406897469635_n.jpg?oh=8fb10a634ae41cbec2b02cafdf792331&oe=548D03A0&__gda__=1420037702_3425d554146115f3a0512cf870b95eb6" style="left: -1px; top: -1px;" width="235" /></a></span></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Standing outside the orphanage</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">That point in the process could have been very stressful but it wasn't. The day before, riding in the car back
from the registry office, I had given it all over to Yahweh. This
process belonged to Him and I was here to enjoy my kids and enjoy this
peaceful environment that He had given to us. After we finished we
walked slowly back to the orphanage. I asked Tom to take pictures of
the little kid’s play garden. They had made all of these animal and
plants out of used soda pop bottles. Very creative. The gardens in the
orphanage were just beautiful. This director was very special. Every
time we’ve seen her she has been dressed in the same outfit. She does
not spend money on herself. She had people painting and gardening and
cleaning. There were murals painted on the walls and you get a sense of
pride about this place. Daniel and Anna were blessed to be put here.
If they had to be in an orphanage, this is the one. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">We got back
inside and before long Dima comes walking fast down the hall. He goes
everywhere fast. Always in a hurry. We like that about him. He
doesn’t mess around. He walks by us saying, “Let’s go”. We grab our
stuff and follow him out to the car. He tells me they have finally got
the court to agree to a special session at 3 p.m. It’s now 1:15 so we
have to get to the hotel, get our stuff, get checked out and back to town for court by 3. It’s going to be tight. And he tells me they
still haven’t located the two jurors who are on the case. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> We
drive to the hotel, past the checkpoint, which is now becoming no big
deal we are so used to it. They stop us (which they haven’t done
before) and ask where we’ve come from. Dima says Matveevka. They ask
us to pull over. Ugh, not now. We don’t have time for this. Dima
sighs and shakes his head. The police comes up to his window and asks
what we are doing. Dima explains we just came from Matveevka and are
going to our hotel in Zap. The police says OH! Seems there is a town
in Donetsk region that sounds very much like Matveevka and he thought
Dima has said that. Donetsk region is just a few kilometers away and
that is one of the two regions who are war right now. The checkpoints
are to keep trouble out of other regions. The police officer waived us
on. Whew!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /> We get to the hotel, grab our stuff, check out and drive
back through the checkpoint to the court. We now no longer have to look
at maps to find our way through this city. That is good but just tells us we have been here too many times.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
We get to court at 5 minutes to 3 and Dima says to get out and wait for
him. He has to drive and pick up the social worker and prosecutor. We
walk over to some shade, where it’s still 95 degrees and wait for them.
We decide to people watch, a very fun thing to do here in Ukraine.
I’m still astounded how the women here walk in 5 inch stilettos on these
cobblestones. Tom and I had actually seen two girls on a hiking trail
in the woods in heels a few days earlier. Seriously??????? I have trouble in my tennis shoes. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> Then you have the babushka’s carrying their grocery sacks and they are NOT wearing heels.
They are the grandmothers who wear their scarves tied around their
heads. Babushkas. Most are hunched over from years of hard labor.
Sweeping, gardening and the like. They shuffle along on their daily
walks to and from the market and fruit and vegetable stands. I wonder why someone hasn't made brooms that have longer handles so they don't have to sweep all bent over?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
Dima arrives back with the prosecutor. The social worker, a cute girl
that wears her skirts so short you hope she is wearing panties, had
walked up a few minutes earlier, of course, wearing stilettos. By the
way, they walk as fast as I do in tennis shoes. I have no idea how they
can do that. ????</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /> We go up 3 stories to the court. There are no
elevators. I don’t know what they do if someone is handicapped.
Someone must carry them upstairs. We get into the courtroom and finally
at 3:15 the judge and same two jurors we had at the original court
hearing come in. We go through the, now normal, getting to know
everyone and everyone agreeing on who everyone is and that they are
qualified to be here. Then the judge reads the request. She asks if
anyone has any objections and we all nod no. She asks the social worker
some questions, mostly about how did this happen, which the social
worker had no control over at all, it was the registry office who made
the mistake. Then she made the decision in our favor. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> Dima
asked to waive the 5-day waiting period and she would not. Someone
might come forward and object to the change in birth date. Really??????
This 5-day wait will cost us $1,000. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
Yesterday we should have picked up the birth certificate, changed the
Tax ID and even applied for their national passports. Then today
finished up with those and applied for their international passports
then gone back to Kiev, never to return to the region again. We got
none of that done. We have the birth certificates, which are now
correct, but none of the other stuff. So we will come back here again
next week for two days to finish up. Travel, hotel – UGH! </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> So we wait in the hallway while papers are being drawn up and then leave. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> Now the fun really begins. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
It’s almost 5 p.m. by the time we leave the courthouse. Dima has his
wife and baby son (5 months) in Crimea spending the summer with her
parents. He hasn’t seen them in weeks because of so many adoptive
families coming. He has a 5-day break so he is going to go there and
pick them up to take them back to Kiev. We are in the rental car so he plans to drive with us back
to Kiev and then take a train to Crimea. I look at him and say “are you
crazy? You are so close to Crimea here in Zap. Can you take a train
or bus from here”? He said, “yes, but how will you get to Kiev”. I look
at Tom and we laugh. “We’ll drive the car”. Dima looks shocked, “by
yourself?????? No way”. We said, “yes way”. After quite some debate we
convinced him. So we drove him to the train station to be sure he could
get a ticket. He came out with it in his hand. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> By now we are
all starving. Dima’s train leaves at 9 p.m. and we have no schedule but
need to get going as fast as possible. We have a very long drive ahead
of us and we are on our own. Most of those hours will be after dark.
There is a McDonald’s in town about 8 km away so we decide to go there.
Yes, I am eating McDonald’s. The choice between street food made from
horse or dog or McDonald’s – well, I go with McDonald’s. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
At least here in Ukraine it’s non-GMO. AND they have great bathrooms,
something special here in Ukraine! A big plus! Tom somehow finds it on
a map and guides Dima driving there. Tom is amazing when it comes to
maps. We get to McDonald’s, use the bathroom, then order and get in the
car. The plan is for Tom and I to eat in the car while Dima drives
back to the train station, then Dima can eat his while waiting for his
train. It takes us 20 minutes to get back to the train station with the
traffic because by now people are off work and going home. Crazy
lights, trolley buses, trolleys on tracks, regular buses, oh my!
Navigating around all of them while trying to eat in the back seat of a
car is quite a feat.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> We stop for a quick gas up and Dima gives us
instructions on getting gas. They are all full serve here to we have
to know how to tell the attendant what kind of gas and how much. I go
inside to pay and get us all water bottles then come out to find
everyone all in the car waiting. The windshield is filthy so I pick up
the brush to clean it. Both men thought it was funny, hence the
picture. Ha!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> Finally we get to the train station, Dima hops out
and is all concerned. “Are you sure? I can still go with you.” We are
fine! Go! He takes his bag and walks off. We are confident but this
is still a pretty huge thing. We look at the map and it’s 514 km (319
miles) and should take 7 hours. OK! 6 p.m. now we should get in around 1
a.m. HA HA HA! I don’t think Google maps takes into consideration
Ukraine roads. We ended up getting in at 4 a.m. But that’s getting
ahead of our story.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> I drive for 2 hours then we stop for bathroom
and more water at a really nice gas station. Then Tom took over
driving. Here the speed limits, unless posted otherwise are 60 km/hr
inside a town or city limit and 90 km/hr outside. You have a 19 km/hr
leeway so really you can drive 109 km/hr without worry of being stopped.
I had been driving between 80 and 110 depending on the roads,
sometimes slower if the roads were really bad. So Tom gets in and
immediately starts driving 110. Within 5 minutes he is flagged down by a
police officer to pull over. Great! We are two American’s with two
Ukraine teens in the back. Dima had given us their papers, the court
documents and we had our passports so hopefully everything would be
fine.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> We pull over and Tom rolls down his window. I lean over
and with a huge smile say, I’m sorry we are American’s. The police
officer was wonderful. He smiles and tries to tell us what we were
doing wrong. I say, we don’t know what you’re saying, but they do and I
point to the back seat. He starts talking with Daniel. Then he looks
at me and I point up and ask, “too fast”? He said nodded his head. I
said, “we will go slower” and point my finger down. He nodded again.
All with a big smile on his face. Then he steps back and waived his
baton to move along. Whew! Wish we would have gotten out and taken a
picture with him. After we pulled away we were wondering why he wasn’t
more curious as to why two American’s were driving in Ukraine with two
Ukraine teens in the back seat. Oh well. </span><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiH_6oNID8iyG4smFocsWzX3DjfjdqQ2rF5-9HtZohPQaYheZFrymS4IZ3Lsk0aDQiEcO4QNVgD-GD2mqdVnWmTSmsVYFRTLXp-t8b4QSPDTaMJw3dgtpKojAdDJ548aDrOmcfPMXLtxgA/s1600/IMG_2515.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiH_6oNID8iyG4smFocsWzX3DjfjdqQ2rF5-9HtZohPQaYheZFrymS4IZ3Lsk0aDQiEcO4QNVgD-GD2mqdVnWmTSmsVYFRTLXp-t8b4QSPDTaMJw3dgtpKojAdDJ548aDrOmcfPMXLtxgA/s1600/IMG_2515.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></span></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">This was our view for more than 6 hours</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> The rest of the night
we took turns switching drivers every hour. We expected to get in by 1
a.m. but as midnight got closer we realized it was taking us a lot
longer because of the roads. And as I mentioned earlier the lights on
our car were in the very dim mode (we had no clue there were different levels of low beam lighting) so that made things even more
challenging. We stopped a few more times for bathroom breaks.
Seriously we were VERY blessed to be driving from Zap to Kiev. It was a
more major road than most, had more open gas stations and some signs
saying this way to Kiev. And we had two map programs on our phones,
Google maps which showed us a map of where we wanted to go and maps.me
which would use satellite to pinpoint where we were. Between the two we
could figure out our route, as long as we didn't run out of battery.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> We rolled into the outskirts of Kiev around 3:45 and
decided to fill up one last time so we could turn the car in full and
not have to look for a station near us in the morning. Once we filled
up, pros now at it, we got back on a “real” highway into Kiev. Things
started looking familiar. Up ahead we saw the walking bridge to the
island. A landmark we recognized. And for those of you here in Kiev a
little something. The walking bridge is lit up beautifully at night.
Just gorgeous! </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> All that walking we’ve done has come in handy.
Not only do we know where we are but we know exactly how to get down in
the middle of the city to our apartment. We drive down past the
bridge, get off the highway onto the street that goes right down where
we walk all of the time. I have to go around a weird traffic circle but
we’ve walked around it so much I know exactly what to do. Then we
drive to the bottom of St. Andrew’s descent, a very steep cobblestone
street at the bottom of St. Andrews church. We’ve walked up it many,
many times but always during the day when it’s filled with street
vendors. At 4 a.m. it is completely empty. The car works hard to get
up the steep hill. I come to a spot where it says no entry – ugh. We
never realized it was a one-way street coming down from there. “Wait a
minute, we see cars going up here all the time, I’m going to keep
going”. So off I go to the top, then take the road to the right then
around a few more streets, then we are home! YAY!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> The kids are
so happy to get out of the car and so are we. We all go upstairs and
wash up and crawl into bed. 4:30 a.m. but safe and sound back in Kiev
with our kids. Now to rest up before we have to travel back to Zap
again to finish up everything we didn’t get done.</span><br />
</div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">That was one day of international adoption in Ukraine. </span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03388067627182097653noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5533506700368134168.post-7184203397580883492014-09-09T16:01:00.000-04:002014-09-10T07:34:20.792-04:00Family Rules!Someday Tom and I will write a book on this subject because so many people have asked us to do that but for now here are a few of our family rules to get you started. They may or may not work for your family but they've been working for us for over 32 years and so far the older ones are pretty awesome adults. Tweak them how you may.<br />
<br />
First who are we to share how we do things and why should you even think of listening to us? Well, we are Tom and Kathe. That's the start of things. We are not a democracy or even a republic. Most decisions are not a consensus but a decision between the two of us. We're parents, we have long-term vision and we pay the bills. Sound harsh? Maybe, but it's worked well for us so far.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0f2GXfd7wQ8YcK-wesrdfUdcVq9BL8krnKRiJBbYuWh2jgFbxDPd_q9MSjtF7kKPZ5whmbwKYPpQBisPHEZ81bANiklArF7ooHkKgHez-orYM0-p34pFrsSsZIdIsF_YinkQXSv5X3ZY/s1600/IMG_1677.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0f2GXfd7wQ8YcK-wesrdfUdcVq9BL8krnKRiJBbYuWh2jgFbxDPd_q9MSjtF7kKPZ5whmbwKYPpQBisPHEZ81bANiklArF7ooHkKgHez-orYM0-p34pFrsSsZIdIsF_YinkQXSv5X3ZY/s1600/IMG_1677.JPG" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
We have a saying in our house, when you can make the house payment, then you can make the rules for that month. Ha! In 32 years not one of them have ponied up the money. <br />
<br />
We got married with each of us having 2 children. They were ages 5 - 12 years of age. Mine were the older two boys and Tom a girl and boy. Then we had 2 more, a boy and a girl. Then we adopted a teen from Ukraine. We just recently adopted 3 more teens from Ukraine. So we are quite the blended family. Now we've added two daughter-in-law's and soon to add a son-in-law plus we are expecting grandbaby #6 in April. <br />
<br />
These rules are in no particular order but they all stand on #1. Without that, well, you may as well throw the whole lot out. Some of the comments will only make sense if you're a blended family like ours but you should be able to get a nugget or two even if you're still in the same relationship and all kids are joint.<br />
<br />
And by the way, this is probably not how most families run things. If you have a different opinion, run with it. I'm hoping enough are on the same page that as my kids grow up and get married they will find good matches with similar upbringing. So far, that is exactly what is happening with our older ones. Funny how that happens. Quite nice to know there are others out there. <br />
<br />
Rule #1. Parents on the same page - no matter what. You'll hear me use that phrase a lot in my writing. I'm a "no matter what" kind of girl. It works for me. Basically I'm all in.<br />
<br />
This rule means that it does not matter which kid is "mine" and which is "yours" if you're a blended family. They are "ours" from this point onward. Whether you are blended or not the decisions are joint and if one parent says no, then both say no. There is also the "what did mom say" and conferring with the other parent to make sure that is exactly what mom said and no matter if you agree or disagree you have to go along with it because you NEVER undermine the other parent in front of kids. You are a UNITED FRONT at all costs. Kids know where they can worm their way in and cause problems so don't give them that opportunity. It's you and your spouse against the crew. Remember someday it will be just the two of you (I'm dreaming here) and you want to have the respect and love of that person long after children are grown and gone. Too many divorces are caused by ignoring this rule, especially in blended families.<br />
<br />
Rule #2. Goes along with rule #1. Parents make decisions in private away from children. And have your disagreements there, too. (Yes, all healthy marriages have disagreements, especially those with lots of children from all sorts of places). Talk through these situations out of earshot of inquiring ears. Once the decision has been agreed upon, then present your united front decision to your child(ren). No more arguing with parents. Child can try but there is no point. <br />
<br />
Rule #3. Discipline. Touchy place when you are a love (step)-parent. (We never used the word step in our house. Reminded me too much of a Stepford something). I agreed to love his children when I agreed to marry him so they are my love-children. I accepted them as my own, no matter what.<br />
<br />
Getting back to discipline. When one parent disciplines it's all them. The other parent needs to zip the lip. And if he is disciplining in a way I don't agree with (especially if it's one of "mine") then maybe I need to go into another room, or get in the car and drive away if I can't keep my emotions and words to myself. Later, when things have settled you can have a discussion, in private, with your spouse. Children should never see that they can cause a rift between parents. They will use it when you least expect it.<br />
<br />
And if you're a mom, sometime dad's need to discipline boys or have boys do things that make you go eeeeeek! Walk away, just walk away if you don't agree. He is teaching them to be men. He knows how to do that much better than you do. <br />
<br />
Rule #4. Personal Responsibility and the 24-hour rule otherwise known as either pick up your stuff or when you go looking for it you might have to travel to the Salvation Army or nearby garbage disposal facility. <br />
<br />
No parent needs to be the maid service. More times than I can count I've reminded my kids that I'm not your friend, your maid or your servant. I am your mom. Maybe I'll be your friend when you hit 25. That depends on you. Right now you clean up after yourself or you will have less stuff to worry about.<br />
<br />
And if you decide to eat in the family room, keep your shoes on in the house, or not pick up your dishes after eating you are just saying that you want to sweep and mop the floor and do kitchen duty. Thanks! <br />
<br />
Rule #5. I love you no matter what and I like being around you, at least most of the time. That means you get mom time or dad time without any other kids from time to time. Maybe it's just a walk around the block. This is one of Vlad's favorites with me. Many times you'll see us walking arm in arm around the neighborhood having conversation. Katherine likes to go to lunch and chat. Tom will take someone with him to Home Depot. We make time for each of them. Go too long without it and they'll get really weird. If you find one of your kids getting weird, just do something with just them. You'll see them turn around pretty fast. Anytime you go someplace grab a kid to go with you. That is unless it's one of those times that you better get some alone time or someone might lose their head. Then it's OK to leave them all at home. I've heard it's really difficult parenting from prison.<br />
<br />
Rule #6. My job as a parent is to turn out an adult that is a useful member of society and respects both Yahweh and others. That he or she knows how to run a household, keep good finances and not rely on others for support, or to do the dishes. As they grow they get more responsibilities. For example in our house by age 12 they are learning how to do their own laundry. That means start to finish with all steps in between. They learn how to properly wash their clothes. They help with cooking, cleaning, yard work, etc.<br />
<br />
Note: They will complain - a lot. I don't hear complaining. I talk to them about the book int he Bible which talks about having joy in spite of circumstances. (Philippians) And I turn the music up louder and laugh and dance. Nobody said you couldn't have fun and wash a floor at the same time. <br />
<br />
I had a high school counselor call me one day and say Mrs. Ray, out of 500+ graduating students your son is the only one I've counseled that actually seems ready to be an adult. He had his own checking account and knew how to balance a checkbook. He had a job, his own car and goals. He knew how to cook and did his own laundry. Now he is a dad of 3, happily married and his wife says I grew her a great husband who actually helps her around the house and knows how to do it all. That is the highest compliment a parent can get. Remembering that helps me stay strong through raising 6 more teenagers. I want that compliment from their future spouses. <br />
<br />
You are not the maid. You do not have to do it all. When you do everything yourself you are not teaching your children how to be adults and care for their own home someday. Remember your job is to grow decent humans that are capable and responsible. They don't get that by watching you do it all. <br />
<br />
Rule #7. Probably right up there with rule #1 in importance. Parents set the example. Your children will model what you do, not what you say. Have integrity. Be authentic. And work on your marriage every day. Someday you want your children to find an amazing spouse. Believe me I have two married and I LOVE their spouses. They are both amazing women and I thank Yahweh every day for them. They are fantastic spouses and mom's. I couldn't have asked for better. <br />
<br />
Love your spouse and do something every day to make your marriage better. And the more children you have, the busier your life, the more you need to make him/her #1 and take time to love on them. Date nights or even just walks with them in your neighborhood. A time to talk without constant interruption. Remember what I said about a kid getting weird? Well it will happen to your spouse, too. If they start getting weird ask yourself when was the last time you two had alone time? Yup! Been awhile right? Fix it now. You'll have a changed spouse. Laugh with your spouse and have some fun. Life is not all dirty dishes and homework. Take time to work on your best investment.<br />
<br />
If that's one thing being in Ukraine taught me is that life is too short and too many problems to not enjoy life. Remember that book in the Bible, joyful in spite of circumstances. It applies to us, too. Take time to be joyful and have fun. And family fun time, too. <br />
<br />
So that's a good start to our family rules. More to come.<br />
<br />
Remember, this is Simply My Opinion. <br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03388067627182097653noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5533506700368134168.post-3934890581129605822014-09-09T11:39:00.002-04:002014-09-10T07:31:28.969-04:00Things They Don't Tell You About International Adoption....I was out on my walk this morning. Those of you who have been following me know I start a lot of stories out like that. One - I walk a lot and two - it's when I think (because you really can't think clearly with a house full of teenagers).<br />
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So I was out on my walk this morning thinking about the past 11 weeks. I happened by a yard with a patch of sunflowers and tears came to my eyes. Really? I mean for the past several weeks all I've thought about was going home to my family, my house, my stuff. Now I walk by sunflowers and all I want is to be in Ukraine. Crazy, right?<br />
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It got me to thinking about things you don't expect on this journey. I mean, you know there will be a lot of paperwork and travel and maybe even some unexpected delays and problems. I'm not talking about that here. I'm talking about sunflowers making you cry on your morning walk.<br />
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So here goes.....<br />
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They don't tell you that you're going to fall in love with the country you are living in for all those weeks. That in spite of the fact that you really want to be home there is a culture and a beauty to the country that deep down inside you just adore. The little homes surrounded by blue and yellow fences with bicycles leaning on them. The goats, chickens, ducks, geese and cows wandering around in the field in front of said fence, so close to the road that you wonder how many get hit by flying cars. (You see no evidence of that happening and figure that they must be pretty smart animals). The fresh vegetables and eggs sitting out next to the road for passers by to stop, honk the horn and wait for a babushka to come out. So many amazing memories and a place where it seems time has stopped and it causes you to pause and reflect on your own busy life. You realize you crave simple.<br />
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They don't tell you that how much you will be grateful for what you have at home. We really have it good and I had no clue until this trip. Ice that comes directly out of the door of your fridge. Roads that don't give you a concussion. Being able to sit in a restaurant or walk down a path without smoking another persons cigarette. And a hundred other small things that when you are somewhere else makes a difference.<br />
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At the same time you wish there was a way to merge the two. Pick the best of both worlds, so to speak. Have the home with the blue and yellow fence, the chickens and ice that comes from your fridge door. And you kind of miss the crazy roads. At least it made the driving and riding interesting. And I think I actually lost inches with being bounced around so much and working to keep in my seat. <br />
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They don't tell you that once you're home it is weird to walk into a store and where you can read the signs and understand what people are saying. And that as much as you wanted that when you were there, now you want the quaint way of weighing and tagging produce and you miss the lady at the corner 8-23 who let you hand her your bag of coins to pick through because the coin was just too confusing. Who in the beginning scowled at you but after 7 weeks or so started smiling. Especially when you butchered the language attempting to say thank you in Russian. For some reason she was OK with me as long as I at least tried. (I wonder if she wonders what happened to me??) Oh! The stores over there have these big signs 8-23, 7-20, 0-24 all meaning times they are open. The 0-24 is open 24 hours. They go by the 24 hour clock there so 8-23 is 8 a.m. to 11 p.m. However they can close up on a whim for however long they decide. <br />
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No one tells you that you are going to have so many mixed up feelings. That there is a let-down from it all. And you realize that for the most part of the past 11 weeks you were living on adrenaline. Combine that with the jet lag and it's a recipe for something that I can't put a name on. When you walk past those sunflowers teary eyed because you miss the huge fields of them you realize that you are forever changed. That your entire perspective on life is different. Bigger. Yet simpler. Does that make sense?<br />
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You take from the country a peacefulness that you didn't have because they are a peaceful people and their way of life is peaceful. You become determined to have the peace in your home. You have a mission to merge the lifestyles and pick the best of both for your home.<br />
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My advice for returning parents is give yourself time to adjust. Be OK with the conflicting emotions. Be grateful that Yahweh has blessed you with a perspective that most people never get. And cry over the sunflowers. It means you enjoyed your journey. <br />
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A note to those of you who are friends and family of those coming home from an international adoption please give them space and time. It is more to process than I can tell you in this post. I read a blog about how to be a good friend to someone who just had a baby and it applies to adoptive parents as well. Here is the link if anyone wants to read it. http://www.scarymommy.com/rules-for-visiting-a-new-mom/<br />
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Our family will get it together one of these days and we appreciate you giving us some space to deal with all of it. We love your messages and your prayers. And the donations of clothes and other things. They really do make a difference. <br />
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This journey is just beginning and the hardest part is starting so be sure to add your email to stay updated.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03388067627182097653noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5533506700368134168.post-3457345807499283312014-08-30T06:17:00.002-04:002014-08-30T06:17:36.914-04:00What To Expect When You're Expecting - International Adoption Version - In Country - Last Days<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">This is for those of you taking the journey of international adoption and for those of you at home supporting them. This is not a complaint but an attempt at an honest take on this process. This is not meant to scare you away but give you an opportunity to prepare yourself for this journey. The mind that is prepared has a 95% better chance at getting through something than one that is not. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">These last days are excruciating. I woke up this morning after a restless sleep (there are many of those due to hard uncomfortable beds and the stress of what you are doing) and my heart was so heavy. I could feel the tears behind my eyes trying to come out. I blink to keep them where they belong. This isn't that bad, I tell myself. Things could be so much worse. I am healthy, my kids are healthy, my family at home is healthy. It's not working. So many other people have it so much worse than this. I have nothing to complain about.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I'm a very positive thinker. I read books like "What To Say When You Talk To Yourself" and others and I know what it does to your brain to have good self-talk. I'm a "self-talk" queen and pretty good at it normally. There is just this heavy weight on my heart right now and those darn tears. What in the world is wrong with me?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">This is international adoption at its finest. The call first thing in the morning that some paper you desperately need to get home is held up by something. Maybe an official is off that day, or for some unexplained reason the whole office is closed that day, or any number of reasons. And you realize that instead of going home on Monday that it will be Tuesday, then Wednesday, then Thursday and your brain can't process past that.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">And you miss your family at home more than you can verbalize. You've been gone 10 weeks and you've missed 10 weeks of hugs and conversations. Conversations because no matter how nice it is to FaceTime or Skype it's just not the same as cuddling together on the couch or her bed to have a nice long chat about all of the silly little things going on in her life. Or having your 6'3" tall 15 year old hug on you several times a day. Or watching the 17 year old that you adopted last year turn into a man this summer. You watch their faces on the computer and know they want you there but won't say it because they know how important this is. That is until one day your daughter just bursts into tears because she misses you so much and she can't stop and there is NOTHING YOU CAN DO! Except after you hang up with her you burst into tears yourself. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">So today you wake up with heavy heart and tears and tell yourself to buck up. You give yourself the same pep talk you've given to others. You are stronger than this. Yahweh is counting on you to see this through and you will. You have no doubt you will get through all of this. "Yahweh knows"!! One day you'll be home and look back with fond memories of this time. But that is in the future and today is today. Saturday. And NOTHING happens on Saturdays, or Sundays, so two days of just waiting. Home is very far away, both in time and in distance. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I cannot afford to wallow. So I pray. I pray for His strength because mine is long, long gone. I pray for His patience, too. I cannot do this alone. I think of Him and all He has done for me. It gives me the courage to do today.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I also look at the three teens sleeping on various pieces of furniture in the apartment. Three less orphans in this world. Three!!! Three starfish off that beach and into a future. That's what this is all about. His mission for us to look out for the orphan. To hear him say someday, well done good and faithful servant. To see them grow up into adults with good lives. Educated, with a spouses and children of their own. More grandchildren. And lives continued. It helps me re-focus on what is truly important. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I wonder what Yahshua (Jesus) thought about the day before He went on that cross? Now, what we go through over here does not compare in the slightest to what He did giving His life, but when life is hard it makes you wonder. What did He think about? Did He think about what was going to happen or did He spend those hours thinking about the others He impacted and was going to impact? Did He think about me and how what He was doing was going to impact me? He got His strength from Yahweh. Good lesson for me.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I read the book of JOB last night. What an inspirational man he was. No matter what happened to him he held tight to trusting Yahweh. It was hard. He lost everything including his children. His wife and best friends turned their backs on him. But he trusted, no matter what. It gave me strength. I will think on that today. The strength that JOB had that he received from Yahweh. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I'm a private person. I don't cry. I am there for everyone else - always. This thing I'm writing today, well, it's not easy for me to lay it all out there. But someone might need it someday. I hope in someway it helps.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Your adoption journey might be simple. Others are. The first time we came here for our Vlad it was simple. 8 days first trip, 22 days second trip. Smooth as smooth can be. No delays and we were on that plane home. I think Yahweh was laughing. He knew. He was softening us up for this trip. I hope your journey is like that. Be prepared just in case it's not.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">This one 11 weeks (at least), more paperwork delays than a person could imagine, a daughter left behind due to a war (which is a whole other reason I could cry at a moments notice), missing out on a business retreat that I need more than anyone can imagine because of the delays and getting the daily update that something else has gone wrong and it will be at least another day or two fixing it. That is this trip in a nutshell.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">The adoption journey for Vlad was a dream vacation compared to this one. Now, hopefully I haven't scared you away from international adoption. We have made some amazing memories here this 11 weeks. My husband and I treated the first 6 weeks or so like a second honeymoon. We walked and walked and saw amazing things. We spent great time together. What a blessing. I will never forget our walks and discoveries and the long, long talks we had here on these wonderful paths.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">And even though this week is harder than I could have imagined there are still blessings to be seen. Three teens so excited about going to a football (soccer) game tonight at the Olympic stadium that they are bouncing off the walls is a blessing. Seeing Maidan all cleaned up and being here for the Independence Day parade - a blessing. Memories being made with my husband and best friend - a blessing. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">If you are a friend or family member of someone adopting over here the best advice I can give is this. Pray for their journey. Pray for their strength and patience. Pray for protection over them and their family. Prayer works - I've seen it up close and personal. And jump in and do whatever you can to help them at home. Love on their family left behind because it matters more than you can imagine. Be there to take pictures of things going on at home. Give those left behind some love. Because by doing so you are doing your part to help those orphans. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">And send them messages of support. I will remember and cherish each message I received over here, from the friend I've never actually met except online who told me that her daughter's entire summer camp group was praying for us and couldn't wait for the updates to the person who told me that we were in their family prayers every day. I will cherish everyone who posted on one of my Facebook postings. Just knowing there were people back home CARING got me through so much.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">If you are contemplating international adoption just know that if Yahweh brought you to this then He will bring you through it. This journey, more than anything I've ever done, has brought me closer to Him. I talk to Him constantly. He is my companion. That is the biggest blessing of this entire journey and the funny thing is that the harder it is, the closer you are to Him. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">So today I embrace the hardness knowing that He is close by. That the harder it is the closer He is to me. And that each day I am closer to going home. Home, sweet home! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Now it's time for some Katie Perry, ROAR! And going out for another walk in this beautiful city, Kiev. As hard as this is and as much as I want to be home I will miss it here. The hilly paths that make for great walking and that has gotten me in the best shape in years, the views over the river and the history. A city many thousands of years old. A beautiful city in so many ways. A gorgeous country even in the midst of war.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Thank you for listening. </span><br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03388067627182097653noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5533506700368134168.post-44868820267949184842014-08-22T02:33:00.000-04:002014-08-22T03:45:40.633-04:00Transportation in Ukraine - An Adoption Journey Post<pre><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</xml><![endif]--><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">August 21 Romny, Ukraine. </span></pre>
<pre><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Sitting in my rental car waiting for our next appointment. </span></pre>
<pre><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">(You can't be surprised that I'm waiting - again!) </span></pre>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><br />We've now been here a full two months. In that time we've taken planes, trains,
automobiles, taxis with drivers, buses and the metro/subway.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here are some tips for anyone traveling in Ukraine. <br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
Small prop planes are fine but not much fun.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They are loud and the most expensive way to travel between Kiev and
region.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, if your translator,
like mine, is afraid of flying it does give you an opportunity to give him a
hard time about it and take funny pictures.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It is my least recommended mode of transport, unless you need to lighten
your translator up a bit. </span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7laOJNyni3Stcf45Vid3e6-20T_sXQ4QPPfW03fQXeJiCjXFwX-60zxfmboswL_-o0UimngvfHj2pJFXYJvGXMQTg7p1Tmc8u5k7PUE4gH6A1m-gHgg1cbU63WC9pj7lZby125RHIIQY/s1600/IMG_1529.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7laOJNyni3Stcf45Vid3e6-20T_sXQ4QPPfW03fQXeJiCjXFwX-60zxfmboswL_-o0UimngvfHj2pJFXYJvGXMQTg7p1Tmc8u5k7PUE4gH6A1m-gHgg1cbU63WC9pj7lZby125RHIIQY/s1600/IMG_1529.JPG" height="150" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">My husband can make anyone laugh, even if they are fearful</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>If you're not flying to region then you have three other options; train, driver
or your own rental car.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'll address
these one by one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> OH that is unless you want to take the #1 form of transportation in most regions, the bicycle. OK, probably not. </span><br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
Train. Inexpensive and comfy if you are blessed enough to be in a region where
you have one of the very nice, brand new express trains.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These were purchased from Asia for the World Cup in 2012 so they are gorgeous. You can travel in comfort with real
bathrooms, plugs for your devices and even food service.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>First class runs about $45 per person one
way. Second class will save you about $5 per person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In second class there will be three seats to a row instead of
two and plugs for devices are every other row instead of at each seat. Each seat will have it's own table, just like in a plane. The nice thing about a train is you can take your own food and drink right on and get up and walk around as much as you want. It really is a fantastic way to travel and see the country. <br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Riding in comfy style on the train</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">You can relax and play games on your phone</span></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Fun and comfortable</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">One night we took the express from Zap to Kiev, 7 hours, and bought 5 window
seats in second class. Usually no one wants the aisle or middle so we all got our own
row to sleep with 3 seats each<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Check to
see how full your train is before attempting this or you might be surprised to
find yourself squeezed in with a large man watching loud Ukraine movies with no ear buds all night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">You can check online
for all the information you need. I was also able to book our seats online and pay
via credit card.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The website can be
changed to English.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> It's a little challenging when getting to the payment section but if you've shopped online at all you should be able to figure it out. (You know you have so own up! You can do this!) If not, your translator should be able to talk you through it over the phone. Mine did the first time just so I wouldn't mess it up. He is getting more confident in my abilities as this journey progresses. </span><br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
I can't speak to the other trains but friends have taken regular overnight
trains and they are still alive although I saw them when they arrived back in
Kiev and can say with some authority that it took its toll. Trying to sleep
on a "bed" on a bumpy train or getting up in the night to go potty
and getting thrown around is not anyone's idea of a good time but it's a cheap
and efficient way to travel to those regions too far away for a driver and
without the option of an express train. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>Now let's talk about drivers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some
translators have their standard drivers they use whenever going to or in
a particular region.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My advice? Question everything, especially
if you have limited funds like we do. If you are wealthy, just ignore what I'm
saying and do your best to help the Ukraine economy. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Ask if you can you get a different
driver for a better price.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ask. It doesn't cost you anything to ask. Remember your Bible, ask and you shall receive. You get nothing if you don't ask. Get some
other options. Many times if your driver comes from the region he will charge
less than one who comes from Kiev. I had my translator call around to get some different estimates. I also talked to other people who had traveled to those regions. <br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
We know of one driver who charges $350 for a round trip to a particular city.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He is the standard driver for one
translator. Another person questioned it and found a driver for $275. We
found one for $200.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So shop around.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>$150 savings is pretty huge when you're on a
strict adoption budget.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Remember this is
your adoption, your money and your budget. You have the right to make the
decisions on how it is spent. You have the right to question how money is spent. <br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
If air conditioning is important, considering most summer days here it is a sweltering
95 degrees, be sure your driver has it and more importantly is willing to turn
it on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sitting in the back seat bouncing
along Ukraine roads getting your neck and back out of whack is bad enough without a hot and humid wind blowing at you
from the open windows.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>By the way,
shocks in cars here must be an optional feature that most opt out of for some
reason.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> I'm still researching the reason on this.</span><br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br /> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiONES_I4klh5-8UgzXmmCP8G1OLyTuoJR4YiaGqxy-cEqfDGnkovSpI5i4l6qRdgks6Z4j2B97p8Oa6SxrwnQ1rU_3UnKDfZhF180u1l5DTZVTQxDI5-SMe94aPcnMXZZyOQ4zJqpzC90/s1600/IMG_3088.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiONES_I4klh5-8UgzXmmCP8G1OLyTuoJR4YiaGqxy-cEqfDGnkovSpI5i4l6qRdgks6Z4j2B97p8Oa6SxrwnQ1rU_3UnKDfZhF180u1l5DTZVTQxDI5-SMe94aPcnMXZZyOQ4zJqpzC90/s1600/IMG_3088.JPG" height="150" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Excellent driver as long as you don't mind the lack of air conditioning. While waiting he turned on his favorite (very loud) Ukraine sitcom. This day was a sweltering 95 degrees and humid. We were all pretty smelly by the end of the day.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">OK, now let's talk about renting a car. Before coming to Ukraine I asked about
renting a car on various Ukraine adoption sites online. I was blasted with
scary stories. Don't do it, you won't be able to read the signs and you'll get
horribly lost.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You'll get stopped by corrupt
police and made to pay exorbitant fines. There are checkpoints and remember the country is at war.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> You'll get stopped and they will take everything you own. </span>You won't be able to drive on the roads because they are the worst in the world. Much worse than in America. It's dangerous (with no particular reason why).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Person after person telling me every reason
not to rent a car.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
Some of these are valid concerns. This country is at war but we who are here
adopting are not allowed into those regions anyway.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, there are checkpoints and we've been
through many without any issues. Yes, the roads are bad but if you've ever
played Mario Cart you've got it!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And yes,
we got lost a few times.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It just adds to
the adventure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Especially when it's 2
a.m., pitch dark, no road signs, the lights on your car aren't working properly, you're out in the middle of nowhere, you've left your
translator behind so he can visit his family and you have no GPS.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But you laugh your way through it and it
becomes a favorite memory. <br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
Talking with my translator he said check prices and let him know. We could
certainly drive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I checked and with the cost
of gas it was about $100 per day. That means a one day trip to region would
cost $100 instead of $200 or more. Sounded good to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
Now it's several weeks and trips later.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Tom and I have driven all over on roads good, bad and downright ugly,
city and country, daytime and at night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Tom is back home now and I navigated getting back from the airport by
myself at 4 a.m.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can drive around
potholes like a native Ukraine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtHSZAxsa8eimTI-RWBLPWS4N05NvMUmLNCaGldJFM7VTS9Z0m3Lx7BkkeSXNzJPu42aAYjVWrW4O2_b0-HP0wpp3RIKAnyJ8g55qnjJUipfEU26aEuum4sn85OuvaqFO7Onz2sdNI3Jo/s1600/IMG_2515.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtHSZAxsa8eimTI-RWBLPWS4N05NvMUmLNCaGldJFM7VTS9Z0m3Lx7BkkeSXNzJPu42aAYjVWrW4O2_b0-HP0wpp3RIKAnyJ8g55qnjJUipfEU26aEuum4sn85OuvaqFO7Onz2sdNI3Jo/s1600/IMG_2515.JPG" height="150" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">2 a.m., somewhere between Zap and Kiev on some road with potholes bigger than your car and no GPS</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</span><br /><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>The funniest part is seeing the look on crowd of men when they see a woman driving.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's just not done here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Women take the metro, ride the bus, a bicycle
or even grandmothers ride mopeds around.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But never drive a car.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> And yes, I have seen more grandmothers (and I'm talking OLD grandmothers) - in dresses - on bikes and mopeds than I can count. Darn it, my bike is coming out when I get home because even though I'm a grandmother I'm not that old and if they can do it, so can I.</span><br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
I'm a fight the fear and do it anyway sort of girl so this driving thing had to
be overcome. And I'm a better person, and more confident, because I didn't listen
to the naysayers and our bank account is much happier.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My advice, get a car and give it a shot.
It's fun once you get a used to it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
can even drive in rush hour Kiev traffic now, weaving around buses and trolley
cars without a problem. And it's fun not to be bouncing around the backseat. Yesterday driving back from region I took a wrong turn and said, I've got this. I just drove until I saw a familiar landmark and voila, just drove in that direction. Like I said, it's an adventure.<br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
By the way here is a little hint. If you are riding in the backseat take a pillow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Trying to nap on long rides is impossible.
You will end up with a concussion if you try to rest your head on the headrest
or seat. And sleeping sitting straight up will have you looking like one of
those bobble dolls and give you a neck that only your chiropractor will love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
Lastly, jump right into taking the metro and city buses around the city.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They are simple and so cheap.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Kiev </span>metro is 2 Grivna or 16 cents.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The trolley buses are 1.5 Grivna or 12
cents. Can't beat it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Most nice hotels
have free maps of the city and metro system. From Independence Square metro
station you can connect with all of the other trains and even the main train
and bus station.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It has saved us
hundreds of dollars on taxis and drivers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>More importantly, we have gotten out to see more of the city.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We've found farmers markets, gardens and
historical places. And had much more fun than we ever expected.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrx2x5U1amHl1QXS_Bdjm8j0k7o6TY0afBmks1_BH6IU5rv7yPWdiSHSEvclOfMAPyaz71ASIpEH4AZDezGlKE7hiHFCxEbqjHmidg3QCVIv-zHz4U_twrjcEwkWW62rZ156OfeR3Khrk/s1600/IMG_1532.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrx2x5U1amHl1QXS_Bdjm8j0k7o6TY0afBmks1_BH6IU5rv7yPWdiSHSEvclOfMAPyaz71ASIpEH4AZDezGlKE7hiHFCxEbqjHmidg3QCVIv-zHz4U_twrjcEwkWW62rZ156OfeR3Khrk/s1600/IMG_1532.JPG" height="200" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Taking the escalator down to the metro stop</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0F2HmlNMoUn6IhRI9eQMA5aLUTT6oWBP2CisuraFNiN52_9qU6ahPDZixxRum88gYDeAB0stektw9ZypiIandwp_-0FJYw1N5DyhNph-6jwshQrHar6qPFmond0RngiNOu-mU1POi_SU/s1600/IMG_1766.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0F2HmlNMoUn6IhRI9eQMA5aLUTT6oWBP2CisuraFNiN52_9qU6ahPDZixxRum88gYDeAB0stektw9ZypiIandwp_-0FJYw1N5DyhNph-6jwshQrHar6qPFmond0RngiNOu-mU1POi_SU/s1600/IMG_1766.JPG" height="150" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Riding the metro with good friends - priceless</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj16ib-au_CuFbuSEmfNbc3EOA8hLtgT31hjprRcC_DnFFmwIu9hCemU1CC52BzUyjfCHk8eX5HEV7lvYMGTxvK6N_klQxgyeycuk37i76_xUAi97sMzZ5rHpTCiApuUapHC9uBRuWXWbM/s1600/IMG_1066.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj16ib-au_CuFbuSEmfNbc3EOA8hLtgT31hjprRcC_DnFFmwIu9hCemU1CC52BzUyjfCHk8eX5HEV7lvYMGTxvK6N_klQxgyeycuk37i76_xUAi97sMzZ5rHpTCiApuUapHC9uBRuWXWbM/s1600/IMG_1066.JPG" height="200" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Trolley Bus - cost 1.50 Grivna</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</span></span><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHVn7C3wY37ixFtFoDeC1Dp-VV_aBM1H1SZqpsW3JKckoXTzb5LEUh6blg9iA_QEsDduucHakNf_PEf2egKag0of1C16qWnkgNjrz5bZpTKM2sRpurSFV3PpYwv-aSG5KKqDr4PGCLbcM/s1600/IMG_1605.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHVn7C3wY37ixFtFoDeC1Dp-VV_aBM1H1SZqpsW3JKckoXTzb5LEUh6blg9iA_QEsDduucHakNf_PEf2egKag0of1C16qWnkgNjrz5bZpTKM2sRpurSFV3PpYwv-aSG5KKqDr4PGCLbcM/s1600/IMG_1605.JPG" height="150" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">On the trolley bus. Riding it to the end, wherever that takes us</span></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">We've taken the metro to the last stop on the line just to see what was there. Bus line, too. It gave us a great sense of direction when we were in our rental car. We see different landmarks and know exactly where we are and how to get back to our apartment because we've walked it or ridden the metro or bus. </span><br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
So jump right in and experience Ukraine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>However you travel make the most of your time here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Be not afraid.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There will always be those who are negative
and want to hold you back because of their own fears.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Tom and I have hundreds of great memories from our two months here together, traveling around the city and country. There is so much waiting to be done in an adoption journey. Spend that time seeking and finding treasured memories.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; tab-stops: 45.8pt 91.6pt 137.4pt 183.2pt 229.0pt 274.8pt 320.6pt 366.4pt 412.2pt 458.0pt 503.8pt 549.6pt 595.4pt 641.2pt 687.0pt 732.8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">And that is ... Simply My Opinion!</span></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03388067627182097653noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5533506700368134168.post-27306943708931809172014-07-09T01:27:00.002-04:002014-07-09T02:30:38.409-04:00Are You Still Living In Your Comfort Zone?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhahcf7t3SjQRkwiWeT6bPGHgBWXoEah_3IGCJfwGSwObM70GhBKxzV0uMYCbKxMEtfKu2xEQ5VZCSgM-BmGKDhVAdhOJyzOGN_1gpmgVOpokruUiNL9GIIsh8NovFujxMO45NVQqDcFcg/s1600/10325335_662237947165020_4269754374276402498_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhahcf7t3SjQRkwiWeT6bPGHgBWXoEah_3IGCJfwGSwObM70GhBKxzV0uMYCbKxMEtfKu2xEQ5VZCSgM-BmGKDhVAdhOJyzOGN_1gpmgVOpokruUiNL9GIIsh8NovFujxMO45NVQqDcFcg/s1600/10325335_662237947165020_4269754374276402498_n.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I loved my comfort zone. I really did. I would stay there all the time. A good book, a quiet spot, no people. Nothing out of the ordinary.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It's true. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But nothing much out of the ordinary ever happens in the comfort zone.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So I've spent my life pushing myself out of the place where I feel most comfortable. And the joys and accomplishments have piled up. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Today I live my life constantly out of the comfort zone. Between what I do for work, Arbonne, and this fantastically crazy adoption journey, it all pushes me.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Here I am right now, writing this message, in a little apartment one block from Maidan square in downtown Kiev, Ukraine. I can step out on my little balcony and see soldiers walking at all hours of the day and night. One little block is all that separates us from where all the destruction and loss of life happened just a few short months ago. Where tents are still set up and tire barricades. Where smoke curls up from fires still being fed. Where pictures of the dead are posted all around. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm in a country still fighting with Russia. Not a little enemy and one that most of the world is scared of. And every day I pray that Yahweh will allow me to go into the area where most of the fighting is still happening. Yup. Asking to be allowed to go. Talk about out of the comfort zone! A few days ago we were being driven to an appointment and had to go through a checkpoint. Yup, real soldiers holding real automatic weapons had to check us through. Friends of mine not only had to go through some checkpoints but some of them were Russian. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In Arbonne my comfort zone does not include speaking to strangers and asking if I can help them get healthy. It does not include calling people on the phone to ask them to join me in my business. But in order for my family to have the life I want them to have I do it anyway. In order for that stranger to be healthier, I get out of that zone. And guess what? It's all good! I have now helped one more person and my family is also benefiting. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This getting out of the comfort zone is not a bad thing. It's amazing! It's freedom! It's liberating!! You become a completely different person. A person who walks with their head high and shoulders back because you conquered your fear! You now live life at a whole other level! You gain a self-confidence that cannot be gotten any other way. You can't buy it. You can't read a book or go to a seminar and get it. And it's so worth it!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Because what are comfort zones really? They are fear zones. It's where you stay because you are afraid. And it keeps you from living an amazing life. It keeps you from talking to that stranger who down the road becomes your best friend. It keeps you from saying yes to adoption and having one, or five, new children in your family that now you can't imagine living without. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Get out of you comfort zone! Get out today and start living a life without fear. Start saying yes to things. Start having a "yes" attitude toward life and see where you end up a year from now. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We said yes to Arbonne and our family is now living the life of our dreams with both parents home. We said yes to adoption and we have 5 new people in our family who are amazing and brilliant and fun and who will go on to live fantastic lives. (And lots more grandbabies someday!)</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What should you say yes to? Something! Anything! Just get out of your comfort zone and do something today that scares the pants off of you! That makes your palms sweat. That gives you a butterfly stomach. Say yes and just do it! You'll be that person that walks a little taller and straighter. You'll get a gleam in your eye. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And the next one will get easier and easier. And before you know it your comfort (fear) zone will just be a distant memory. Because now you're living life in the fearless and amazing zone! </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Do it today! </span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03388067627182097653noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5533506700368134168.post-73054964070175502542014-06-15T17:32:00.001-04:002014-06-15T17:32:19.452-04:00Why Ukraine????Why are you going all the way to Ukraine to adopt?<br />
What about all the children here in the U.S.A. who need families?<br />
There are 2,000 children in Michigan who need families, why don't you adopt some of them?<br />
Is it easier to adopt from Ukraine? Is that why you're adopting from there?<br />
<br />
All of those are valid questions and I thank you for asking them. I understand the curiosity and I'm the first one to say U.S.A. first. <br />
<br />
If you read my blog a bit, especially the one with our story, you'll see that we weren't really looking to adopt at all. We are believers in the Bible and well, we believe that Yahweh (God) just dropped Vlad into our laps. That opened our eyes to the plight of Ukraine orphans.<br />
<br />
A few years earlier we had thought about adopting. Finding out that there is an age limit (we are too old) nipped that in the bud. So we let it go, thinking it wasn't for us. Maybe 6 was enough after all.<br />
<br />
When Vlad came to us we had no thoughts of adoption. We had no idea there were Ukraine orphans or that they were available for adoption. We were not wealthy and the thought of adopting internationally just was out of our reach.<br />
<br />
After having him in our home though everything changed. After going to Ukraine and seeing first hand the orphanages there it changed even more. As I said in the interview I had nightmares every night for months. I saw the faces of the children in my dreams. I knew there was no turning back from this.<br />
<br />
So why Ukraine? Well it wasn't our choice but Yahweh's. <br />
<br />
What about the children here in Michigan, or the U.S.? Well here are some facts:<br />
<br />
Children in the states are allowed to stay in the system until 18 or graduated from high school. In Ukraine they are put out on the streets when they turn 16. <br />
<br />
In the states they are given subsidy's and free college and housing. In Ukraine they get nothing. Nada. Not a dime. They are on their own. The boys turn to crime to make money for food, the girls prostitution. <br />
<br />
Our Vlad said the girls in his orphanage started sneaking out the orphanage when they turn 15 to make money to buy food because they don't get enough. <br />
<br />
It is not easier to adopt from Ukraine. In fact, instead of dealing with a state government and regulations you're now dealing with two federal governments who sometimes disagree with each other. The piles of paperwork, the travel expenses and the fee's are exorbitant. So not it is not easier and it is not less money. You have to be on a mission to take on international teen adoption.<br />
<br />
Bottom line children are children. We believe the Bible when it states that true religion is taking care of the widows and orphans. And that in you the orphan finds mercy. No where does it state at the end of those sentences that it should be in your own country.<br />
<br />
If we can help some teenagers have a future and a family, something that everyone deserves, it shouldn't matter if they are American or Ukrainian. They are amazing kids who are smart and deserving. <br />
<br />
I truly hope this opens some eyes and that some who hadn't thought about adoption will look into it, whether that is here at home in the U.S. or in Ukraine. If more took on this mandate from Yahweh maybe there would be no more orphans. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03388067627182097653noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5533506700368134168.post-15561721796099616192014-05-16T10:55:00.002-04:002014-05-16T11:56:50.391-04:00Our Adoption Story ... So Far....<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Before the story I want to just say that my husband Tom and I never, in a million years, expected to adopt Ukraine teenagers into our family. After all, we had already raised and were still raising six children. But that's what happens when you say yes to Yahweh. And just open your heart to His will for your life. It takes you on unexpected twists and turns. One day you're sitting in your well-ordered life and the next you are in an orphanage half-way around the world with the faces of teenage orphans forever embedded into your memory. You find it hard to sleep at night remembering their precious faces and spend time thinking of ways to help them. Some you bring home to your family but all the rest, well, that's another journey which we are walking out.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">As I said one day in August 2012 I was happily playing by the pool with my two kiddo's and had no idea our life was about to be turned upside down by an email. Funny how life takes you on these seemingly side journeys that turn out to be the real road you're supposed to be traveling on. He definitely knows best. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">So here is our story....so far....</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Our Adoption Story</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Our story
began in late summer of 2012 when we got an email asking for our help to finish the summer hosting a
teenager from Ukraine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He had come to
the U.S. on an orphan hosting program and the family he stayed with had a
family emergency.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We figured that as
parents with 2 teens still at home we could show him a good time. We had 6
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">So Vlad came
to our home and our eyes were opened to the plight of Ukraine teenage
orphans.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We found out that they are
released, “graduated”, from the orphanage once they turn 16.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They have 2 options at that point.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One is to just go out and attempt life on
their own.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The average Ukraine family
exists on $450 a month.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Orphans who are
barely 16 and have no education or skills are at the bottom of the food chain
and most can’t find even menial work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The other
option is to go to trade school.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They
can choose from 5 different trades.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Let’s say they choose culinary.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They are put in dorms – no, not like our college dorms here but rat
infested nasty places where no human should ever have to live.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They are given 100 Grivna per month – about
$13 U.S. – and with that they have to purchase their food, clothing and any
food they need for cooking school.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Most
can’t afford it so instead of actually cooking they spend 8 hours a day reading
cookbooks and then the rest of their time fending off predators.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Again, most will end up in a life of crime
just to eat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Predators
wait for the teens to be released from the orphanages with promises of food,
shelter and jobs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Little do they know
they are now entering the world of human trafficking?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>80% of Ukraine teen orphans don’t live past
their 20<sup>th</sup> birthday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Once we
learned this we couldn’t let it happen to this boy who was staying with
us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Without even knowing what it would
take we jumped into the international adoption process.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What a nightmare.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But 7 months and $30,000 later we brought our
new son home on March 2, 2013.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He turned
16 the next month.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Whew – just in time.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I (Kathe) came
home from two trips to Ukraine and spending time every day in an orphanage that
smelled like sewer, was freezing cold but where the children were all
smiles.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They don’t realize what’s
waiting for them as they approach 16.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They have little food and are constantly told that they don’t
matter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No one teaches them anything
because the adults know that most of them won’t survive anyway so what’s the
point.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When our son came home he didn’t
even know how to read or do basic math.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He had no expectations of what he could do or become.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He had been told for years that he was stupid
when in reality he is very bright.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">After coming
home and having nightmares every night about the faces in the orphanage we knew
this was a new path in our lives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Summer
2013 we hosted 3 more boys and found them families.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We found families for several more teens that
others had hosted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We put braces on Vlad
and started him at Novi High School.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>What an achievement for him!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His
first real school and it was 10<sup>th</sup> grade.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was on the football team, a dream of his
when he thought about coming to America, and going to his first homecoming
dance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAlX5aAZOYSoecILgBTPFp4g7F-zXgSY8zkWmY2pnvxZ1JBGGtqiFBvUsg6pQnm64H16wXeMHqEFioxuyDpajNViaouuDq27Iu8YTNl4Yn0bMdGurnvqu2STIIImYmMidil7deJEhClA4/s1600/Vlad+football.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAlX5aAZOYSoecILgBTPFp4g7F-zXgSY8zkWmY2pnvxZ1JBGGtqiFBvUsg6pQnm64H16wXeMHqEFioxuyDpajNViaouuDq27Iu8YTNl4Yn0bMdGurnvqu2STIIImYmMidil7deJEhClA4/s1600/Vlad+football.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWjp9H-0dRng2npG_1CcCNn5RTDF9G_3BW_4rdRTiR7wwCo2hzAVlaeaZyiwtjcl7yQHOR3ntNMvjayC8qva0TKpAGGfhOS9FlHaBQeWikcFdawY50PFZRl2a81sW47FQyHjGAPCTLIF4/s1600/Vlad+homecoming.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWjp9H-0dRng2npG_1CcCNn5RTDF9G_3BW_4rdRTiR7wwCo2hzAVlaeaZyiwtjcl7yQHOR3ntNMvjayC8qva0TKpAGGfhOS9FlHaBQeWikcFdawY50PFZRl2a81sW47FQyHjGAPCTLIF4/s1600/Vlad+homecoming.png" height="320" width="239" /></a></div>
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<br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-no-proof: yes;"></span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">In October we
got word that one of his best friends from the orphanage, Anya, had been
“graduated” at the end of August and went to trade school.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was found dead, murdered by strangulation
and stabbing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Typical.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It tore out Vlad’s heart, and ours.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He felt guilty that he wasn’t there to save
her even though, in reality, there was nothing he could have done.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We felt terrible because she had been hosted
during the summer by another family but was not adopted and no family found for
her.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Over winter
break we hosted two more teens.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We found
a family for one of them and the other, Yuri, stole our hearts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We just knew we had to adopt him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But the prospect seemed overwhelming.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How would we come up with another $30K? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We were still recuperating from the last adoption
that wiped out our savings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We still had
3 teens at home, all in braces, sports and with other expenses.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The mountain of paperwork that would need to
be done – again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The trips back and
forth to Ukraine – again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We took a deep
breath and said yes, just trusting that through raising funds we could do it.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Then we got
an email from our Ukraine facilitator.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Could we possibly take one more?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Anya’s sister, Kristina, was 13 and in dire need of a family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After the loss of her sister she was
despondent thinking that she would end up with the same fate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our facilitator said it was urgent because
the orphanage she is in would be closed to adoptions starting in the fall due
to the decision of the orphanage director.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Ugh!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That means it has to be a
family who is already in process like we were and ready to move really, really
fast, like we were.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBpw-FVSLJ0_FSp6pazHZuzzzIBDeR503PkYdgUMr6841Q5UILrpOLPWlJlBkLHCsXn5nyYz9XSDYxk8DFtvpK_q9iOj79tCQdprw9d-r_M1Ihda-lGTKPfL9wXTReo7_t5dyw5zOI98g/s1600/Kristina.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBpw-FVSLJ0_FSp6pazHZuzzzIBDeR503PkYdgUMr6841Q5UILrpOLPWlJlBkLHCsXn5nyYz9XSDYxk8DFtvpK_q9iOj79tCQdprw9d-r_M1Ihda-lGTKPfL9wXTReo7_t5dyw5zOI98g/s1600/Kristina.jpg" height="272" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizYTQHqF52zD0JMHdsCvXcQzU44Fy5kFWWE20c49pOy80TWDjeuDZTgRg7vuQFViYCqtRqBeHNms1yDMHx45Bh7OBwB203xoDn3wx6vPyuVS3dJ0G3xaFGKJAJw9eAB5YfACa96FhxDU4/s1600/Yuri.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizYTQHqF52zD0JMHdsCvXcQzU44Fy5kFWWE20c49pOy80TWDjeuDZTgRg7vuQFViYCqtRqBeHNms1yDMHx45Bh7OBwB203xoDn3wx6vPyuVS3dJ0G3xaFGKJAJw9eAB5YfACa96FhxDU4/s1600/Yuri.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">We spent our
days working to earn the money needed, doing fundraising and huge amounts of
paperwork for two governments, something called a dossier.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our dossier was almost complete on a day in
early April when I got a message on Facebook from a fellow adoptive mom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She had adopted a teen girl and wondered if I
knew of anyone who was paper ready who might be willing to adopt her daughters’
best friend who was aging out in July.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I sent out an
email asking but no one I knew was already in process with a completed home
study.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I told Tom about her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Since we were already in process and approved
for three it was do-able for us, except the money part.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Costs have now climbed another $10,000. He
said yes, let’s do it.</span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzqP2mneEbX8Lg-TSuzpEt1v4IGJgTqeACnyDmCuTXiNX26Bw9CJCzT57tQPiOOaXRoeFE-AgJMPART5BDmTZv8cVUE_2I-cPTkHzqi-iy49x5EUOUEEur1n4FI9wxw87kc8XGtdZdPZ0/s1600/Anya.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzqP2mneEbX8Lg-TSuzpEt1v4IGJgTqeACnyDmCuTXiNX26Bw9CJCzT57tQPiOOaXRoeFE-AgJMPART5BDmTZv8cVUE_2I-cPTkHzqi-iy49x5EUOUEEur1n4FI9wxw87kc8XGtdZdPZ0/s1600/Anya.jpg" height="320" width="272" /></a></div>
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<br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">A picture
taken of Anya a couple of years ago by her best friend who was adopted by a
family in New York.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">So now we
have to figure out a way to come up with upwards of $50,000.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Three different teenagers, three orphanages,
one in the northeast and one in the southeast and one to the west of Kiev in
Ukraine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A lot more travel, more
expenses.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And the time is so short that
no mistakes can be made in the process.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Especially for Anya who is aging out in early July.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">We can earn
the money ourselves by working but not in the time frame needed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are working double to do it but it’s just
not going to be fast enough for these teens.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">So we’re
doing what we never do – ask.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have
to.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For these teens.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">We are asking
everyone to help us fund this adoption.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We can’t do it alone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We can
raise them, teach them and feed them but we can’t do this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not this fast.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We need to be able to travel by early summer or
it’s too late for Kristina and Anya.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">We are asking
for donations to our adoption fund that we have set up in Paypal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Paypal.com.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Our account is </span><a href="mailto:arbonnekathe@msn.com"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">arbonnekathe@msn.com</span></a><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Please be sure to mark as gift so no fees are assessed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Or you can
send a check to us at:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Tom & Kathe
Ray, 24870 Portsmouth Avenue, Novi, MI 48374.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Please put in the memo – adoption fund.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I can’t tell
you what this means.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are no words
to explain how these kids live and what happens to them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It has changed our lives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Hosea 14:3 In
you the orphan finds mercy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">With our
sincerest thanks, </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Tom &
Kathe Ray</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">248-890-6968</span></div>
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<a href="mailto:arbonnekathe@msn.com"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">arbonnekathe@msn.com</span></a><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">P.S.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m sure many of you have seen the news on
what is happening in Ukraine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are
still a “GO”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have been in contact
with our facilitator and adoptions are still progressing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">So please
pass our information out to anyone you know that has a heart for these teen
orphans.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We need the help of a village
on this one!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s a tall order to come
up with this much money this quickly and be ready to travel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">UPDATE as of
April 25<sup>th</sup>:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Great news.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our dossier has been submitted to the Ukraine
SDA.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That is one big hurdle over.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The time frame to travel is now approximately
60 days or less.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have raised just
over $10,000 of the $50,000 needed so <b>a lot </b>has to happen in the next 60
days.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are trusting that it will come
in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Thank you for
any support you can give to us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Ways to help:</span></div>
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<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span class="MsoHyperlink"><span style="color: windowtext; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Online
to paypal.com and go to our account and donate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Account </span><a href="mailto:arbonnekathe@msn.com"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">arbonnekathe@msn.com</span></a><span class="MsoHyperlink"><span style="color: windowtext; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<span class="MsoHyperlink"><span style="color: windowtext; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">Please mark as GIFT</span></span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Send
check to:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kathe Ray, 24870 Portsmouth
Avenue, Novi, MI 48374</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">THANK YOU!</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">And thank you for passing our story along to others that could possibly help <span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">us bring these three teenagers home to their family. I've never been one for asking for anything, especially money, but in this case I have no choice. We simply can't do it in the time frame that it needs to be done by ourselves. We need the help of the village. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Thank you! </span> </span></div>
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</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03388067627182097653noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5533506700368134168.post-23982383768428420872014-05-03T08:47:00.000-04:002014-05-03T09:27:02.398-04:00Just Say YES!Such a simple word which can have so much impact. So many people say no. They have reasons. Justifications. Excuses.<br />
<br />
No is an end. It shuts down, shuts off. You don't get past a no. There is nothing.<br />
<br />
A yes, on the other hand, opens doors. There are possibilities with yes. Adventures always start with yes. <br />
<br />
A first date must start with a yes. A marriage, too. Yes to going to college, or even yes to getting good grades in school. You have to buy in. You have to say yes.<br />
<br />
No puts up a wall. Most times insurmountable.<br />
<br />
I watch it all the time in my Arbonne business. I put out the information on getting healthy and get 9 no's to every yes. The no's all have reasons. Some sound valid to the hearing but deep down it's still just an excuse.<br />
<br />
I also watch it happen in the adoption world. The world of orphan care. There are statistics out there that basically say that if only a small percentage of the world's Christians adopted there would be no more orphans. There were 120 orphans in our son Vlad's orphanage. 120. Yet all but a handful will end up on the streets. Because people say no.<br />
<br />
People say things like, "I have no money" (join the club), or "my husband would never go for that" or "I'm done raising children" or a hundred other reasons.<br />
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The problem that I see from my vantage point in all of this is that when you say no to an opportunity; whether it is something like Arbonne or adoption, you are saying no to miracles happening in your life. You have made a decision that you don't want the miracles happening to you.<br />
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Yesterday I got to watch a miracle unfold. A disrupted adoption of a 13 year old girl. I won't go into the details because they don't matter. All that matters is that someone knew I had a heart for orphans and that I work tirelessly to find families for them. I got an email about this girl asking for my help. After talking with the mom about the girl I put a simple post on Facebook. We now have two families who we are working with to find out which one will be the best fit for her.<br />
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Now I really have done nothing. But I get the gift of watching all of this unfold. I probably will never even meet this girl but I got to have a little tiny hand in her life. All because I said YES! When I got the email, I didn't look at the piles (literally piles) of stuff I had to do. It would have been easy to say no. I'm leaving for our global conference in just a few days. I have so much to do my head is spinning. My house is a disaster because people have been dropping things off for our fundraiser garage sale for weeks and the weather has been horrible with no chance of actually holding the sale so my house is piled high.<br />
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I have grandbabies coming to stay so my DIL can go to the conference and so, so much to do. But I said yes. Because yes lets me in a little bit to watch Yahweh work. I get to see Him firsthand. I get to watch him as someone calls me out of the blue that would be a perfect fit. I didn't do that - He did! This is so much fun I can't even explain it. All because I said yes.<br />
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Yesterday I got a picture of our new daughter, Kristina. I looked at that picture at least 20 times yesterday. She is our new daughter because we said yes. Do we have the money? No. Do we have the time? No. But we said yes anyway. Because yes opens the doors to miracles. Saying yes lets Yahweh in and He is more fun to watch than anything else on this planet. He is AMAZING to watch!<br />
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Start saying yes! Yes to the hard things. The things that you think are impossible. Whether it's finally getting fit with Arbonne or saying yes to orphan adoption. Just say yes and let the miracles start happening!<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03388067627182097653noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5533506700368134168.post-33385302551408366152014-04-25T20:51:00.001-04:002014-04-25T20:51:09.975-04:00It Makes A Difference!About a year ago we decided to go gluten free. It really made a difference in how I feel, headaches for Garrett and I, and disappearing belly fat. It's been a good change. The biggest problem became finding a good gluten free flour to make breads and other baked goods. <br />
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First there is the expense issue. You buy this tiny little bag of flour for $7 or $8 and you need at least 2 of them to make 4 loaves of bread. And our house goes through about 8 loaves a week. And some of those flours don't taste very good and in fact some taste down right nasty. <br />
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A few months ago we found a great deal on a 5 pound bag of Namaste flour at our local Costco. Hmmmmm.....how did it taste. The price was right at around $13. Tom made bread and it was delicious. OK! We had a winner! <br />
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Imagine our disappointment when a few weeks later the Namaste was gone and in it's place was another brand. It was slightly less money at about $12 for 5 pounds. So we bought a couple of bags. Tom made bread and it didn't act the same or taste nearly as good. Bummer.<br />
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So we hunted the regular grocery stores and went back to buying little bags but still didn't have the success or tastiness of the Namaste brand. On our next trip to Costco I mentioned to the cashier our disappointment and they suggested we write out a comment card. I was skeptical. Did anyone really read them? Would it make any difference? After all I'm just one customer.<br />
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Three weeks later we were back at Costco, just this past week. You would have thought we won a million dollars. There in the baking isle were those pretty maroon bags of flour by Namaste! They listened. We were elated!!!!<br />
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So Tom suggested I write an email to Namaste thanking them. I did that yesterday. I also wrote another comment card to Costco thanking them. Today I got an email from a wonderful lady at Namaste who thanked me for suggesting it to Costco. She said they had been in negotiations with them for weeks and couldn't come to terms. Now the shipments are rolling out to Costco's all over! Now I can't know for sure my little comment card did it but it sure feels nice to think it did.<br />
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Thanks Namaste and thanks Costco! We have a happy gluten free home here!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03388067627182097653noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5533506700368134168.post-62278215171018727152014-04-19T09:38:00.000-04:002014-04-19T09:38:04.062-04:00Mind Your MannersYesterday I took Vlad to the shoe store to buy him a new pair of tennis shoes for his birthday. I was standing in line when a woman just cut right in front of me and went to the counter. She started yelling at the clerk for something that was obviously not his fault. On a previous purchase she was charged an extra $3 for something. He told her right off that they would take it off her charge but she just kept going on and on and on. She just wanted to rant. When she had her $3 and stormed off he just looked deflated. She never even looked at me, the person she had cut off. <br /><br />We walked up and I smiled and said to him, don't let anyone rent space in your head. He said, "I've been dealing with people like her all day long, I just don't get it". I said, "people are in their own heads and thinking selfishly. When you've been to a Ukraine orphanage and see how they live you don't care about stupid stuff like this anymore". <br /><br />I went on to talk to him about how great he handled the situation and that to be able to let things like that go was a great ability. He had stayed calm throughout the tirade. I complimented him on his behavior. <br /><br />When we left he thanked me and told me that I was the best customer he had had in weeks. How sad. How sad that simply being polite makes me the best customer in weeks. I am sad that people are so into themselves that they don't see the damage they are causing to others.<br />
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As we walked out of the store I talked to Vlad about what we experienced. I asked him what he thought of the woman's behavior. He said she was mean. I told him that mature people don't act like that. Good people don't act like that. He said, "I know, mom". I said, "Vlad, I don't ever want you to act like that". He said, "I won't, mom". <br />
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I'm sure the woman had some things going on in her life. But is that an excuse? I hear people give excuses for their behavior all of the time. As if because they are going through something that gives them a right to ignore manners. To put their garbage out on others. To be mean and rude is OK because they are having a bad day. <br />
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Character and integrity are things that don't seem to have value anymore. To have a sales clerk deal with customers like that day in and day out is just wrong. What is happening to us that we don't care about how we treat others? <br />
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It's become a bad habit. We grow into it one bad moment at a time and then it becomes a part of us and even who we are. We are the person who rides roughshod over others and we don't even realize that we're doing it. <br />
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Mind your manners. My grandmother used to say that continually. As a society we need to mind our manners. We need to consciously think about how we interact with others. That sales clerk is someone's son, someone's grandson, someone's friend, boyfriend or husband. He belongs to someone. If he were your son would you want someone to treat him like you are treating him? <br />
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Make today a day to consciously think about how you are with others. And maybe even go one step further and do the unexpected and give them a compliment or word of encouragement. Not only will you probably be the one bright spot in their day, but you'll walk away with a happy heart, knowing you made a difference. <br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03388067627182097653noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5533506700368134168.post-63724760392229347872014-04-17T16:05:00.001-04:002014-04-17T16:05:50.943-04:00How a Heart Grows!I had a call from a good friend of mine today while driving. We had a conversation about adding more children to your life and how you can possibly love another child as much as you love the one or ones you already have. Probably every parent who is bringing a second child into their family has had the same thought. When I was pregnant with child #2 I wondered how I could love him as much as I loved child #1. It seemed impossible because that love was so huge. But the second that baby is handed to you your heart just expands and you fall in love all over again. Then as you add more children you just know that your heart will keep expanding.<br />
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When my boys were young I got re-married and my husband had two children. I wondered, "could I love them"? I hadn't given birth and didn't even meet them until they were 4 and 5. Today they are 25 and 26 and I call them my love children. I love them because I love them, not because I gave birth to them. My heart expanded to make room for them. To me, they were mine to be loved, cared for and protected no differently than the ones I gave birth to. Amazing thing this parent love. <br />
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Then we added two more and the heart grew bigger.<br />
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Then we met Vlad. OK this was different altogether. This boy was not only 15 years old but from a different country, culture and spoke another language. How was this going to work? One day we sat down with him and asked him if he wanted to be a part of our family, our son. He said yes. Truly in that instant he became our son and I fell in love with him just like my others. Putting him on a plane to go back to Ukraine that August day was one of the hardest things I've ever done. He was my son and I was sending him across the world into who knows who kind of life, without being able to watch over him. How did this happen, this love thing?<br />
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So the next 6 months became fraught with mother's anxiety, working at mach speed to finish paperwork to get him home where he belonged. Seeing him again in that orphanage I was overflowing with happiness. My son safe with me again! <br />
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Now we have three teens over there. Two of them we haven't met and yet they are mine. Yuri and I talk every few days and there are a lot of "I love you's" going back and forth. The two girls, well, even though we've never met they are my daughters and I love them. I can't explain it. I'm just so grateful to Yahweh that this kind of love exists. The kind of love that when you hear your daughters voice over the telephone for the first time your heart just about bursts with happiness. You listen carefully to every sound of it, wanting to remember how she sounds, what the tone is and hoping to glean everything you can from it. Trying to figure out if she's happy, excited, scared or what? Your mother ears are on full force. (You mothers know what I'm talking about). <br />
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So hearts just grow. I can't explain it. It's a miracle. And we are so blessed to be able to experience this miracle. <br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03388067627182097653noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5533506700368134168.post-38003225988446628642014-04-14T17:28:00.002-04:002014-04-14T17:39:09.985-04:00Good-bye Ex-FriendI was reminded today why I don't much like "churchy-preachy" Christians. I know that sounds harsh but today brought back bad memories of "holier than thou" and why we don't go to church anymore.<br />
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I had the gall to post a picture of a gift that I received from my job. I do my job because not only do I love what I do (helping people get healthy) but it pays the bills and allows Tom and I to stay at home and raise our family and go off across the world to bring home teenage orphans. Most would think that is pretty cool. Not this person.<br />
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He seemed to think that going after building a big business was anti-Christ. Hmmm...I said to him the more money I earn, the more I can help orphans, which after reading the Bible through a few times was a pretty clear directive from Yahweh (God). He stuck to his guns that it was better to spend time in prayer than actually "doing" anything. Then he said that he would pray for me and that he loves me. Ugh!<br />
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Now this after a day of calling USCIS to check on our paperwork status, working with our mortgage company to refinance our house to have the money to adopt, working on this monstrosity of a yard sale and of course, working my Arbonne business. Lots of irons in the fire.<br />
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So some guy who thinks prayer is more important than doing for the orphans has the nerve to call me out because I'm happy that I earned some bling for doing a good job. <br />
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Now others have gotten the same kind of messages and I've told them to just let it go and keep your eyes focused where they need to be. Why am I not taking my own advice? <br />
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Because I'm pretty fed up with the ones who aren't doing anything telling us going through this process what we should be doing instead. Would you rather I don't work? How would my family be supported? Would you rather I make just enough money to pay my bills and buy groceries? Then who is going to take care of the orphans of the world? <br />
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I'm at a loss. What do you want from me? From us? From all of us?<br />
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I work for a company that has their goal to be the #1 company in giving back. We have people funding whole orphanages, building schools, paying for medical mission trips and so on. Our company has a foundation that helps at risk teenagers. We have people with heart who are willing to do the hard stuff and help. <br />
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Now I'm not saying that prayer isn't important. Believe me when I say that most days I may not walk around on my knees but in my head there is almost a constant conversation between Him and me. He gets me through. He not only listens but He tells me in a hundred ways that He is right there with me.<br />
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Just a few days ago Tom and I were talking about beds/bedrooms and sleeping arrangements for three new teens. We realized that we just needed one twin mattress and we would be all set. I said, when it gets a little closer I'll put it out there and someone probably has one they don't need anymore. We woke up the next morning to an email from a friend asking if we could use a new twin mattress they had but don't need anymore.<br />
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Yeah, He listens. And yes, He talks back. <br />
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I will also take all the prayers I can get from others. And if all you can do is pray, then pray your heart out for us and these orphans. <br />
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Just don't think it's OK to sit back and preach at those who are actually doing something, telling us that it takes a lot more than that to get into heaven. I say to you that I don't think you have the slightest idea of what it takes to get into the Kingdom. And maybe you should re-read the parable of the talents. He who has been given and does nothing with it gets it taken away. And at the very least if you can't say something supportive then you shouldn't say anything at all.<br />
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James tells us that faith without works is dead. He then goes on to tell us what those works are. I seem to remember the word orphan in there somewhere. <br />
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I'll do whatever I need to do to take care of one more orphan, then one more, then one more and I'll do it for the rest of my life. Not only is that going to take prayer, but a mountain of other stuff as well. My goal is to make millions of dollars. YES I said MILLIONS. Because I know what money like that is going to do for these teen orphans. If He gave me the talent then He expects me to use it for Him and His will. <br />
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The last thing someone like me needs is someone like you in my world. Tearing down in the name of Him. I believe He would be disgusted. I know I am.<br />
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So good-bye my self-righteous ex-friend. I hope you enjoy your world. You don't belong in mine. <br />
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I know this has been a bit sarcastic. Not my normal stuff. But today it's simply my opinion.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03388067627182097653noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5533506700368134168.post-30655991521208568792014-04-11T18:12:00.001-04:002014-04-11T18:12:55.368-04:00And Then There Were Ten!A funny thing happens on the way to your future. A future you have all planned out nice and neat. I'm going to have a husband and two children and have a nicely packaged life. <br />
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I'm sure Yahweh is sitting up on His throne laughing His head off. (I know He must have a sense of humor to have me as one of His)!<br />
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Just wait, He says. Just wait to see what I have in store for you.<br />
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So I have a husband and my two children. That's enough for me I say. My heart is full and so are my hands. Then I change husbands. (Yes that happens sometimes). And the new one comes with two children of his own. Pretty nice ones, too. They are cute little 4 and 6 year olds and of course I fall in love with them just like my two. Now we are four!<br />
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A few years go by and Tom and I talk and think how it would be if we added another so we did. Then we thought about how by the time that little guy was in school the other four would be grown and gone and since we didn't want him to be an "only" so we added another one to make six. <br />
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Whew! How did that happen? But now we were really done. I mean, really done!<br />
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Many of you know the story how a Ukraine orphan came to us out of the blue one summer day opening our eyes to the way of Ukraine teen orphans. Vlad changed our lives in so many ways. We brought him home as our son in March 2013. So there were seven.<br />
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Again we were done. We decided to host more children in summer of 2013 and found forever families for them. Then decided to host two more in winter and found a family for one of them. He found the perfect family for him which was fantastic. The other one wound his way into our hearts. So we talked and decided to bring Yuri home. It was hard jumping into the adoption world again with it's mounds of paperwork and the crazy money needed. We had just retired Tom from the corporate job that was literally killing him so we didn't have that income. We jumped into fundraising and I ramped up working Arbonne to raise the money. <br />
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Then a few weeks later we heard about Kristina. Kristina, the younger sister of Vlad's friend from his orphanage who was murdered just six weeks after being put out of the orphanage, devastating all of us. We never knew she had a little sister. When we found out we knew that she needed us so we said yes to her as well. <br />
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When the social worker came to do our home study we told her to write it for three. Why? I have no idea. We had no intention of three. We had chosen two and that was enough for us. I sent in the paperwork to U.S. Immigration and put down the number three as well. Again, I have no idea why. Mainly to match what was on the home study.<br />
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Going along, fundraising, working on our Ukraine dossier and having it almost ready to send over I got a message on Facebook. Would I know of a family who is already in process with paperwork that might want to adopt a girl who would be 16 in July? If someone isn't already in process there wasn't time before she ages out of the system. I put it out to some people and no one was ready. <br />
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Tom and I talked, again. OK, let's see if this is right for us. We contacted a hosting agency that was familiar with her to see if we could get anymore details. They told us she was already chosen for hosting. We asked if they were going to adopt and was told the family wasn't sure but they would step aside if someone was willing to adopt her. Someone from the agency talked to the girl and she said no, she wanted to be hosted first. <br />
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What she didn't know is that if she is hosted that would end the possibility of adoption because she was aging out. <br />
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Tom and I went on some errands earlier today and talked about it. I was sad but there was nothing we could do. He said it's too bad there isn't someone who can talk to her to tell her the truth and give her better information to make her choice. I said, I know, me, too.<br />
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When we got back home I had a message waiting for me on FB. The woman who told me about her in the first place had some news. Her adopted daughter is the girls best friend and they were talking via the internet and when the girl was told about our family she changed her mind completely. She said, yes, yes, yes I want to be adopted by them. <br />
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So now we are announcing that we are also bringing Anya home to us. And that makes ten. <br />
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Looking at that number brings a smile to my face. I look up and wonder at the mysteries of how a person can go from where I was to where I am today. A person who, growing up, didn't even babysit because she didn't like kids all that much. And now I have ten! Crazy number!<br />
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And my husband is the same.....never thinking for a moment he would be a father to ten children.<br />
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So I'm thinking this out. Next year we will have six teenagers in our home. Three girls and three boys. Two in 8th grade, one in 9th, two in 10th and one in 11th. Should be pretty busy around here!<br />
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So that's it.....for now. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03388067627182097653noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5533506700368134168.post-7183582214104983402014-04-10T13:21:00.001-04:002014-04-10T13:21:16.484-04:00I Miss My ChildrenImagine having one of your children spending the night with a friend. Maybe it's a nice night off for you. Maybe you worry, what are they doing? Are they safe? Are they eating right? <br />
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Imagine having one of your children off at camp for a week or a few weeks. Those questions now multiply. You talk with them but don't get much information (they're teenagers after all) and you think about them off and on all day hoping that they are OK.<br />
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Imagine as a friend of mine right now is experiencing her son is on another continent for a great experience through his school. I have no doubt she is happy for him but at the same time would rather have him safe and sound with her. The long flight there and back without her, what is he doing, what if he gets sick, is he eating well, on and on.<br />
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Now imagine an adoptive parent like me. Two teenagers in Ukraine. Not only do I have all those questions but I have ones like will Russia invade Ukraine? Will we be able to get there and bring them home before that happens? What if they get sick and there is no one to take care of them? Are they eating? (probably not - at least not much). And a hundred other questions just like that.<br />
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The only thing I can do is work to raise the money to get there and finish up the paperwork. My facilitator is traveling to one of the orphanages today and will let me know next week how Kristina is doing. I just wish I could hug her and tell her that we're getting there as fast as we can. I haven't heard from Yuri in over a week. My normally chatty son is very quiet. I'm hoping it's because they have nice weather and he is outside playing. I think all kinds of thoughts I don't want to think like maybe the internet has been shut down and things are happening. They aren't far from the Russian border. Then I tell myself to just trust Yahweh that everything is fine.<br />
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Some might say that well they aren't really your children, at least not yet. To that I say you must never have adopted yourself. The second you make the decision to adopt them they have a place in your heart as if you've given birth to them. I can't explain it. I really can't. <br />
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Before adoption I had no idea it would be like this. I've given birth to four children. I'm a love (step) parent to two more. I love those two like I gave birth to them. I've fought for them, hugged them close when bad things happened and think about them and their future no different than the ones I gave birth to. Then we adopted Vlad and who knew there was a boy growing up halfway around the world that was in my heart before I even knew him. That I love him so very, very much. I wish I could have been there for him when he was little. To give him the cuddles and love he so desperately needed. But I'm there now. And he is in my heart like the other six. And now there is two more, waiting for us in Ukraine. One we haven't met yet but she is in my heart just as solidly as the others. <br />
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Kristina's orphanage</div>
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So I think about them. And do my best not to worry about them and their situation. I pray to Yahweh that He protects them and takes care of them. I pray that we have the funds to travel soon. And that the documents are all accepted and approved. And that Russia stays out of Ukraine.<br />
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So yes, I miss my children. I can't wait to hug them and hold them and in Kristina's case, meet her. I can't wait to wrap my arms around her and help her feel safe. And show her that she has a mom and a dad who love her. <br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03388067627182097653noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5533506700368134168.post-32892598989203707782014-04-05T12:01:00.001-04:002014-04-05T12:01:01.299-04:00If God Wanted You to Adopt You Would Already Have the MoneyI'm sure the person that posted this comment to me didn't mean it to hurt. I'm sure that somewhere in their heart they believe what they said. Because they used "God" I'm assuming they are Christian. Maybe I'm wrong. I'm of the belief that if one person says something, then that means that 100 are thinking it. I'm sure there are both Christians and non-Christians on my Facebook that think it. So let's get it out in the open and talk about it.<br />
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1. Not everyone who has been blessed with lots of expendable money wants to adopt.<br />
<br />
That's a reality of life. There are millions of people with expendable money and the last thing on their minds is adopting a child or teenager. Maybe they have other causes that are dear to them. Maybe they already have a large family they are supporting. Maybe they just want "the good life". I'm in no way judging here. My belief is that if you earned the money then you should have the say-so in how you spend it. I'm happy for anyone in this position and someday I'm planning to be there, too. If you want a getaway in Aruba more power to you. Maybe you'll invite me to hang out there and relax a bit - I could definitely use that! HA!<br />
<br />
2. Not everyone with a heart for bringing a child or teenager into their home and family has money. <br />
<br />
That's another reality of life. In fact, as part of adoption community I would say that MOST people who are adopting have to work for it. Actually now that we're on our second adoption journey I realize that it's part of the process of adopting. <br />
<br />
I don't know if the person who wrote the above has ever been part of a fundraising effort. Believe me when I tell you it is NOT FUN! Essentially you have to beg from your friends, families and strangers. Now that might be easy for some people but the people I know who are in this process HATE IT! And that includes me. I absolutely detest asking anyone for anything and money is at the top of that list. I have been an independent person since about the age of 5 and now in my mid-50's this is not the time to start asking for help. <br />
<br />
However, when you are faced with a teenager who, without your help, will end up on the street, most likely dead within a few months, all of a sudden what you want is not important. What you like or don't like doesn't matter anymore. You grit your teeth and make the call. You write out the words of a Facebook post and close your eyes and silently pray and hit enter. You write out your story and mail it out, stopping your hand just as the letters are being dropped into the post office box and think, "Am I really doing this? Asking my friends and family for money?" Then you let go and the letters fall into the collection box. You hang your head, tears in your eyes, and silently pray one word - "please". <br />
<br />
Please let all of this make a difference. The taking of a prideful person and making them humble. It hurts. It's hard. But if it makes a difference to one orphan then it's worth it all.<br />
<br />
You watch the calendar speed by and know you have no where near enough money to make it happen. You don't talk to God daily. You talk to Him every 10 minutes. You just say the words over and over again - I trust You, I trust You, I trust You.<br />
<br />
To the person who wrote me saying if God wanted you to adopt you would already have the money and to everyone who is thinking it I say this. You're wrong. It's about Him and His Glory. It's about Him coming in at the last minute and showing His Power. He couldn't do that if we already had it all taken care of. <br />
<br />
What God wants is for someone to step up and say, I will. And then believe that He will provide. He calls people who are willing to put their own needs and wants aside to do things they would never do because those are the people who will take in an orphan teenager with crazy kinds of issues and say, I will be their parent. Through thick and thin. I will be the one they can finally trust. I will be the one that gives them boundaries and rules. I will be the one who cries with them over everything they have lost. I will be the one who struggles with them trying to learn math and English. I will be the one who takes them to the dentist for the first time in their lives and then explains to them why they have to have braces to save their teeth. I will be the one who spends hours with their teachers to give them a chance to catch up from never being in a decent school. <br />
<br />
I will. I will do the hard stuff that no one else wants to do. I will grit my teeth and ask because He promises that when we ask, He will provide. And how does He provide? Through people like my friends and family who have donated. Those people are His people who also said, I will. <br />
<br />
God didn't call us to adopt because we had the money. He called us to adopt because He knew we would say, I will, and that He would be able to show His Glory on the "HOW". If we had the money, what would we need Him for?<br />
<br />
God is showing us His Love by providing, by making this happen. I get a ring-side seat in watching Him at work. When a person I barely know sends a check for $500 because she felt she needed to that is Him at work. When another person sends $1200 and they are barely getting by themselves, that is Him at work. I get to watch all of that. What a privilege. <br />
<br />
I don't know why God asked us to adopt these teenagers. I only know that He did and He promised that when we obey Him that we have access to all of His promises. <br />
<br />
Hosea 14:3 In you the orphan finds mercy. <br />
<br />
Every person who helped us bring Vlad home and every person who is helping us bring Yuri and Kristina home has a part in that verse. You have helped the orphan. Us needing the money has allowed so many other people to take part in this journey with us. We are all saying, I will.<br />
<br />
Tom and I are working hard at our business. God is blessing us immensely in this process. Our goal is that someday when all of this personal adoption is behind us that He will continually bless us so that we can help others on this journey. In the meantime, we need your help to make this adoption happen. Be a part of this amazing journey to give two teenage orphans a family and a future. A future with real school, dentists, health, and a future of college and marriage and children of their own. Join with us to help make this happen. <br />
<br />
Thank you.<br />
<br />
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03388067627182097653noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5533506700368134168.post-48686431904505145582014-04-04T13:35:00.000-04:002014-04-04T13:35:11.828-04:00Adopting Again - Why?<!--[if !mso]>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">Over the past few days I've gotten a lot of questions about our upcoming adoption. Questions like why are you doing it again? I wrote out this letter a while ago to address such questions. The short answer is because it's the right thing to do. It was put on our hearts to help these orphans and we can. Maybe we don't have all of the money to actually adopt them but that can be raised. What we do have are hearts that are open to raising teenagers. It's not easy. There is nothing easy about this entire process. However it is right. And rewarding. And we feel like we are making a difference to at least a few of the world's orphans. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">Our
story began in late summer of 2012 when we were asked to finish the summer
hosting a teenager from Ukraine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He had
come to the U.S. on an orphan hosting program and the family he stayed with had
a family emergency.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We figured that as
parents with 2 teens still at home we could show him a good time. We had 6
children total but 4 were grown and out of the house.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">So
Vlad came to our home and our eyes were opened to the plight of Ukraine teenage
orphans.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We found out that they are
released, “graduated”, from the orphanage once they turn 16.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They have 2 options at that point.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One is to just go out and attempt life on
their own.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The average Ukraine family
exists on $450 a month.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Orphans who are
barely 16 and have no education or skills are at the bottom of the food chain
and most can’t find even menial work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They get absolutely no help from any organization or the
government.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Most will end up in a life
of crime, living off the streets or in human trafficking.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">The
other option is to go to trade school.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They can choose from 5 different trades.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Let’s say they choose culinary.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They are put in dorms – no, not like our college dorms here but rat
infested nasty places where no human should ever have to live.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They are given 100 Grivna per month – about $13
U.S. – and with that they have to purchase their food, clothing and any food
they need for cooking school.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Most can’t
afford it so instead of actually cooking they spend 8 hours a day reading
cookbooks and then the rest of their time fending off predators.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Again, most will end up in a life of crime
just to eat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">Predators
wait for the teens to be released from the orphanages with promises of food,
shelter and jobs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Little do they know
they are now entering the world of human trafficking?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>80% of Ukraine teen orphans don’t live past
their 20<sup>th</sup> birthday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">Once
we learned this we couldn’t let it happen to this boy who was staying with
us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Without even knowing what it would
take we jumped into the international adoption process.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What a nightmare.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But 7 months and $30,000 later we brought our
new son home on March 2, 2013.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He turned
16 the next month.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Whew – just in time.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">I
(Kathe) came home from two trips to Ukraine and spending time every day in an
orphanage that smelled like sewer, was freezing cold but where the children
were all smiles.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They don’t realize
what’s waiting for them as they approach 16.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They have little food and are constantly told that they don’t matter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No one teaches them anything because the
adults know that most of them won’t survive anyway so what’s the point.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When our son came home he didn’t even know
how to read or do basic math.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He had no
expectations of what he could do or become.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He had been told for years that he was stupid when in reality he is very
bright.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">After
coming home and having nightmares every night about the faces in the orphanage
we knew this was a new path in our lives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Summer 2013 we hosted 3 more boys and found them families.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We found families for several more teens that
others had hosted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We put braces on Vlad
and started him at Novi High School.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>What an achievement for him!!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His
first real school and it was 10<sup>th</sup> grade.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was on the football team, a dream of his
when he thought about coming to America, and going to his first homecoming
dance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-jft5FJFJzdyT6covZrd6VxyR9KVFZ9LnGAYgWKqZMaX-ejo7_aHlQOtqJ1WAln6LGe-e2vGVEqThRzMdMxT8ZeTuy4awUpO-8tgjonEF7kD6bE2__Xgpk1SOi0fDSNTbjyl9l1hRgGA/s1600/IMG_0341.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-jft5FJFJzdyT6covZrd6VxyR9KVFZ9LnGAYgWKqZMaX-ejo7_aHlQOtqJ1WAln6LGe-e2vGVEqThRzMdMxT8ZeTuy4awUpO-8tgjonEF7kD6bE2__Xgpk1SOi0fDSNTbjyl9l1hRgGA/s1600/IMG_0341.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
Vlad at the orphanage with his friends. One of these boys is in the process of being adopted. The other two have been "graduated" and are on the streets.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5sbdjRRK90Rknft5uYoxnThq4jneT5kRbHYjb9azqoi-Gftwfb8NOUihhf6q4hvPxSAt2u8X3Hwsuo00J_UnxO4hMNsruezXvNb_KSVtW7gpK8oV3PQADafKKb20M5FbDYRFj9wFZXXQ/s1600/IMG_1085.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5sbdjRRK90Rknft5uYoxnThq4jneT5kRbHYjb9azqoi-Gftwfb8NOUihhf6q4hvPxSAt2u8X3Hwsuo00J_UnxO4hMNsruezXvNb_KSVtW7gpK8oV3PQADafKKb20M5FbDYRFj9wFZXXQ/s1600/IMG_1085.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
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Vlad dressed and ready for his first homecoming dance.<br />
He also played JV football - a dream for him. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2lzl22uZcig7H4rW3itbKU-5gCAIZp5A-5OwGaFHsgRd5EtZlr2nf0lhp_8_wBal1KniVEQK3m5pafT7DhJltlaePlbsTq_5vhmbiyvyCf4a2CqAX1ZtnU_spD1fVrHZI8VNmeGdv9uw/s1600/Vlad+First+JV+Football+Game.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2lzl22uZcig7H4rW3itbKU-5gCAIZp5A-5OwGaFHsgRd5EtZlr2nf0lhp_8_wBal1KniVEQK3m5pafT7DhJltlaePlbsTq_5vhmbiyvyCf4a2CqAX1ZtnU_spD1fVrHZI8VNmeGdv9uw/s1600/Vlad+First+JV+Football+Game.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-no-proof: yes;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">In
October we got word that one of his best friends from the orphanage, Anya, had
been “graduated” at the end of August and went to trade school.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was found dead, murdered by strangulation
and stabbing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Typical.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It tore out Vlad’s heart, and ours.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He felt guilty that he wasn’t there to save
her even though, in reality, there was nothing he could have done.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We felt terrible because she had been hosted
during the summer by another family but was not adopted and no family found for
her.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">Over
winter break we hosted two more teens.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We found a family for one of them and the other, Yuri, stole our
hearts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We just knew we had to adopt
him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But the prospect seemed
overwhelming.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How would we come up with
another $30K?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We were still recuperating
from the last adoption that wiped out our savings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We still had 3 teens at home, all in braces,
sports and with other expenses.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
mountain of paperwork that would need to be done – again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The trips back and forth to Ukraine –
again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We took a deep breath and said
yes, just trusting that through raising funds we could do it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">Then
we got an email from our Ukraine facilitator.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Could we possibly take one more?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Anya’s sister, Kristina, was 13 and in dire need of a family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After the loss of her sister she was
despondent thinking that she would end up with the same fate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our facilitator said it was urgent because
the orphanage she is in would be closed to adoptions starting in the fall due
to the decision of the orphanage director.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Ugh!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That means it has to be a
family who is already in process like we were and ready to move really, really
fast, like we were.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi29oAntKb05uz2ePmMrUOs1TdiRU3OW2pZGfKGVt8vEjBEV7qot93hbS4TpkuBZr0G_SnWqkdh2POH49CxdG9vK5erSaBz8ivp75O6_1kcCOR5B_-vRUkH-G0VWgDT2FZKDjPhtZDFHN8/s1600/IMG_1168.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi29oAntKb05uz2ePmMrUOs1TdiRU3OW2pZGfKGVt8vEjBEV7qot93hbS4TpkuBZr0G_SnWqkdh2POH49CxdG9vK5erSaBz8ivp75O6_1kcCOR5B_-vRUkH-G0VWgDT2FZKDjPhtZDFHN8/s1600/IMG_1168.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yuri helping to chop wood for winter during hosting</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimzmiKTtXqA4XWCIwu0X4uJJZPEeTxHNE1d5VZGP-0iOWHiyUkadQswWB9QhdwgxqC9GN94p-LpilJeh80yfuLB8lUkRK5LMpHUutIPn9qX2m0tuuoeCmYNB9zdeH7NDjBoi_n1KHfWQI/s1600/Kristina+with+puppy.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimzmiKTtXqA4XWCIwu0X4uJJZPEeTxHNE1d5VZGP-0iOWHiyUkadQswWB9QhdwgxqC9GN94p-LpilJeh80yfuLB8lUkRK5LMpHUutIPn9qX2m0tuuoeCmYNB9zdeH7NDjBoi_n1KHfWQI/s1600/Kristina+with+puppy.JPG" height="320" width="207" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Kristina during hosting</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">The
problem is that now the cost is upwards of $45,000.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Two different children, two orphanages, one
in the north and one in the south of Ukraine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>A lot more travel, more expenses.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And the time is so short that no mistakes can be made in the process.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">We
can earn the money ourselves by working but not in the time frame needed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are working double to do it but it’s just
not going to be fast enough for these teens.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">So
we’re doing what we never do – ask.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We
have to.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For these teens.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">We
are asking everyone to help us fund this adoption.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We can’t do it alone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We can raise them, teach them and feed them
but we can’t do this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not this fast. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We need to be able to travel by summer or it’s
too late for Kristina.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">We
are asking for donations to our adoption fund that we have set up in Paypal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Paypal.com and then our account is </span><a href="mailto:arbonnekathe@msn.com"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">arbonnekathe@msn.com</span></a><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Please be sure to mark as gift so no fees are assessed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span>
</div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">Or
you can send a check to us at:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Tom &
Kathe Ray, 24870 Portsmouth Avenue, Novi, MI 48374.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Please put in the memo – adoption fund.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">I
can’t tell you what this means.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There
are no words to explain how these kids live and what happens to them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It has changed our lives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">Hosea
14:3 In you the orphan finds mercy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">With
our sincerest thanks, </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">Tom
& Kathe Ray</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">248-890-6968</span></div>
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<a href="mailto:arbonnekathe@msn.com"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">arbonnekathe@msn.com</span></a><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">P.S.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m sure many of you have seen the news on
what is happening in Ukraine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are
still a “GO”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have been in contact
with our facilitator and adoptions are still progressing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kristina is in SE Ukraine near the problem
spot but so far Mariupol seems quiet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Our facilitator visited there last week and gave Kristina a letter and
pictures from us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She cried when she
heard that our family wants her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She
just broke down in happiness that she has a family after all of the trauma of
her life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">He
did alert me that the director of that orphanage is “going off the wagon”
whatever that means.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She is becoming
increasingly against adoptions and he said please come as soon as you can.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t know how much longer we will be able
to adopt from there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is the same
orphanage our son Vlad is from.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">So
please pass our information out to anyone you know that has a heart for these
teen orphans.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We need the help of a
village on this one!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s a tall order
to come up with this much money this quickly and be ready to travel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our documents are almost all in order and the
immigration paperwork has been sent to USCIS.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>That means we are 8 – 12 weeks from travel so we have to bring in the
money now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">Thank
you for any support you can give to us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">Ways
to help:</span></div>
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<span class="MsoHyperlink"><span style="color: windowtext; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Arial; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">Online to paypal.com and go to our account and
donate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Account </span><a href="mailto:arbonnekathe@msn.com"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">arbonnekathe@msn.com</span></a><span class="MsoHyperlink"><span style="color: windowtext; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"></span></span>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span class="MsoHyperlink"><span style="color: windowtext; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"> Please mark as GIFT</span></span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;"><span style="color: windowtext; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"></span> OR: Send
check to:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kathe Ray, 24870 Portsmouth
Avenue, Novi, MI 48374</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">Thank
you!</span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03388067627182097653noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5533506700368134168.post-8887770949535085022014-03-29T11:28:00.000-04:002014-03-29T11:28:01.841-04:00The Power of Believing - Putin and Ukraine - Ask Yahweh and BelieveThere are four very powerful stories in the Bible that I want to talk about today. <br />
<br />
Everyone knows the story of Jericho. The walls came tumbling down. Have you ever really thought about it though? Did the walls come tumbling down because the Israelites marched around it for 7 days then blew their trumpets loudly? I say yes. Yes, because they believed that if they did what Yahweh told them to do that He would do what He said He would do. Their marching and their trumpet blowing was walking out their belief. Yahweh caused those walls to fall because Israel believed. <br />
<br />
The next is found in Judges chapter 6 & 7 and is the story of Gideon. Gideon was a lowly man in Israel and Yahweh chose him as the leader of the army that would go up against the Midianites and Amalekites. Gideon had 22,000 men, which he didn't think were enough, yet Yahweh told him it was too many. Finally getting the number down to just 300 Gideon was told to go ahead with the mission to defeat this enormous army. When you read the ending to the story you'll realize that Yahweh didn't need Gideon or his 300 men at all - that He turned that army against themselves and Israel was free. Yahweh wanted Israel to believe. Yahweh caused this confusion and defeat of the enemy because Gideon believed. He trusted Yahweh to do what Yahweh said He would do.<br />
<br />
One of my absolute favorites stories is of Elisha in 2 Kings 6. When the King of Aram had surrounded Elisha and his servant to kill them Elisha told his servant not to worry and then asked Yahweh to open the servants eyes to the truth. All around them was the Army of Yahweh, horses and chariots of fire. There was no need to worry because Yahweh was protecting them. Elisha believed.<br />
<br />
And lastly, one that came to me last night as I was falling asleep and one I knew was so pertinent to this situation with Russia and Ukraine right now. Yahweh told me that we only have to believe, to trust Him with all our minds and all our hearts, and He can and will do the same things that He has always done for His people.<br />
<br />
One of my favorite kings in the Bible is King Hezekiah. Time and time again he walked out his belief that Yahweh could do anything. He asked and it was given to him. The mighty Assyrian army with Sennecharib as leader was besieging Jerusalem. Sennecharib was offering to the people freedom if they would leave Jerusalem and Hezekiah. Hezekiah prayed to Yahweh and Yahweh listened. During the night Sennecharib's huge army turned against themselves and by the morning was completely decimated. Without Hezekiah or Israel doing anything - except believing! They trusted that if Hezekiah asked, it would be given. 2 Chronicles 32 and 2 Kings 18.<br />
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So we have this modern day Sennacherib, Russian's Putin, doing the same thing as was done to Jerusalem in Hezekiah's day. A bully who wants to take over the entire country of Ukraine and then move on to his next target.<br />
<br />
We can stop him. Not through politics or diplomacy. Not through government intervention and war. But through prayer and belief. Do you truly believe that Yahweh is all powerful? Do you really believe that He can make anything happen? Do you believe that He can turn this Russian army against themselves and against their leader and go back home in shame? I do. I do. Yes, this mom of 9 and grandma of 5 believes in her heart that Yahweh has the power to do just that. <br />
<br />
So I prayed through the night. And I'm going to keep praying with belief that Yahweh is going to step up and protect the people of Ukraine from this tyrant. That the people of Ukraine will be free of war and suppression. <br />
<br />
I ask that you pray with me. And believe with me. Let no shadow of doubt enter your mind or heart. If Yahweh could use lowly Gideon to bring down the mighty Amalekites, He can certainly use us to bring down Putin. <br />
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Please share this with the believers that you know. Let's make a difference to the people of Ukraine. <br />
<br />
Kathe <br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03388067627182097653noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5533506700368134168.post-12786001013875984902013-06-24T15:50:00.001-04:002013-06-24T15:50:21.913-04:00International Adoption: Why don't you adopt an American?<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This is seriously such a rude question but I will answer you anyway. I really don't know that much about you and don't know your background or heritage but I can pretty much guarantee than unless you are an American Indian you came from someplace else somewhere along the way. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I also don't know if you have a background in faith. So I'm just putting this out there that I am a woman of faith in the Elohim of the Bible. Yahweh is His name. My husband is a man of the same faith. We have read the Bible through and through. It says over and over again to take care of the orphans. Nowhere does it specifically say where those orphans live. It just says orphans. And I'm pretty sure he means all of them, no matter where they live. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Let me take a moment and educate you on the plight of the orphans in Ukraine. I can speak to that because I've been to Ukraine, been in an orphanage there and have an ex-Ukraine orphan living with me now as my son. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In Ukraine children from orphanages are looked at as the lowest of the low citizens. At best they will work a minimum wage job their entire life. Even though it is certainly not their fault that they have a non-existent father and a drunk drugged out mother the society there looks at them like pariahs. My son started cooking at age 4 because it was the only way he could eat. His mother dropped him off at a shelter when he was 7 because she had another baby and couldn't take care of them both. (Two different fathers, neither married her - all of them on drugs and alcohol).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">She lost her parental rights 6 months later and he was transferred to the orphanage.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Let me tell you about that. It's not a place you would want your worst enemy to live. Smells of sewer, older than dirt, a place you know existed during the worst times of the soviet union and you wonder what has gone on in those walls. Beautiful children running around but then look closely and see how hungry they are and how thin. But the smiles - oh the smiles. How can anyone in this situation smile? It still astounds me.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A 12 foot high iron fence and gate. In a word - prison. For children who have done NOTHING wrong except be born to a person who could care less about them.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So that is the good part. YUP! </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So they turn 16. Now 16 in a Ukraine orphanage is like 10 here in the U.S. They have little to no education or skills in anything. No one cares about them. They have no material possessions. They don't own anything. Even the clothes they wear are shared between the other children their size. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So they turn 16, but think of any 10 year old that you know and know that this orphan is not as educated or has the common sense needed to survive in the world as your 10 year old. So it is now August 31st. The BIG DAY has arrived. Graduation from the orphanage. It sounds so good, right?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Wrong. The children have no idea what is coming except they don't have to live in prison anymore. But they have no idea what life is like on the outside. They are woefully unprepared for it. They leave with the clothes on their backs (more than likely the worst of the lot) and maybe a small bag of anything personal that they've collected over the years. That's it. No money. Nothing.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Where do they go. Your guess is as good as mine. I do know the following facts:</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Ukraine has a huge human trafficking problem</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">80% of these children do not live past their 24th birthday and half of them won't make it to age 20.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So you fill in the blanks. I'm sure that people wait for this day with excitement, waiting to tell these children that they have a place for them to live and a job. I don't have to go any further - you should get it by now.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So now let's take this journey to America.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">How is it different here:</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The children can stay in foster care until 18 or graduated from high school.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Children get to actually go to school and be educated</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Children after turning 18 have programs to plug into to further their education. In many states they get free college and money to live on while they are in college or trade school. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">They have a support system in place to transition the children to adult hood and living on their own.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Not to say they have it great, but they are not in the distress the Ukraine teen is in. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If that doesn't answer your question, well, I can't help you. I love America as much as you do. In fact I'm so proud to be an American because we Americans typically step up and do the right thing all around the world. We are the world's helpers. We go where we are needed at a personal cost that is very high.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So instead of opening your mouth and saying stupid things, maybe instead ask how you can help. There are plenty of adoptive families out there trying to raise funds to adopt one of these distressed orphans. You may not want to adopt one yourself but you can certainly help someone else do it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And in the meantime, stop with the stupid comments. They just show your ignorance.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This is simply my opinion - a little rant today! </span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03388067627182097653noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5533506700368134168.post-87989806969090051132013-01-28T11:28:00.000-05:002013-01-28T11:28:05.773-05:00Vlad Update: Preparing to Bring Vlad HomeThe past few days I've been immersing myself in teaching materials. As most of you know I already home school our two still at home; one in 8th grade and one in 6th. Vlad will be in 9th according to his age, but definitely not his educational level. He knows very little English and his math is very sketchy. When I was in Ukraine I downloaded a few math tests to see where he is and he is all over the map. From 4th grade through 8th grade he knew a few things in each grade but there are huge gaps. So I've picked up some math workbooks starting in grade 4 to go through with him. With my daughter Emma's help we found an online downloadable math definition sheet in English/Russian. 13 pages of terms in both languages. Yay!<br />
<br />
So I plan to go through those books with him and teach him the things that he missed. I want him to have a solid math foundation. I've also picked up some beginning English language workbooks. I know that he will pick it up fast because he is very smart and once he is immersed into the family he will pick a lot of it up just by constantly hearing it.<br />
<br />
Right now I'm working on re-working our daily schedule because Vlad will need more one-on-one time to explain what we are doing with the language barrier. <br />
<br />
Besides that I am working on all of the paperwork to turn into the U.S. Embassy in Kiev. They need a bunch of forms, tax returns, etc. to show that we are capable of supporting another person in our household. I cannot wait until I'm done with all of this paperwork. I had no idea when we started this process how much paper I would accumulate. <br />
<br />
I leave to go back on the 9th of February. Before then I need to have my house organized and all of this paperwork done and ready to take with me. <br />
<br />
For those of you following this sage, just keep praying for our protection, energy and strength. <br />
<br />
Thank you!<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03388067627182097653noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5533506700368134168.post-26696127914193491382013-01-25T14:49:00.000-05:002013-01-25T14:49:16.538-05:00Vlad Update: Trip to Ukraine #1For those of you who are following our adoption saga......<br />
<br />
I just returned from Ukraine. Let me say once again I would rather give
birth 10 times than adopt. This process is so long and so hard. I had not idea what people go through who adopt internationally.<br />
<br />
I was in Ukraine for 7 days. 7 very long days. Monday left Detroit and
arrived in Kiev on Tuesday. Checked into the hotel. Wednesday met at
the SDA for a 30 minute appointment. Done for the day. Wait, wait,
wait. Thursday (my birthday) waited all day for an appointment at 4
p.m. 5 minute appointment to pick up approval to go to the orphanage. <br />
<br />
Waited until 7:30 to go to the airport to fly to Donetsk. From there a
driver named Ivan drove us the 2 hours to Mariupol. Finally checked into my hotel
room at 1 a.m. Very old beautiful hotel called the Grand Hotel.<br />
<br />
Up at 6 a.m. on Friday. Off to the inspectors office. A lot of talking
back and forth between the facilitator and the inspector. I am pretty
much there to hand over money. LOL<br />
<br />
9 a.m. we are finally at the orphanage/prison. Yes prison. I am sick
that anyone, especially children, need to live there. Vlad walked in and
in one second all of the stress and money and waiting became
unimportant. THIS is why we were doing all of it. The smile in his
eyes said it all. She came. She really came. I think until that moment he doubted that it would ever really happen. <br />
<br />
We spent about an hour there. Vlad had to write out a letter
saying that he wanted to be adopted by us and choose his new name. We left, went to court,
where I didn't even go in but sat in the taxi. Went to the notary then
back to court, then back to the orphanage.<br />
<br />
I got to spend a good hour with Vlad with an interpreter so we were able
to talk about a lot of things. Home schooling, sports, how he was,
etc. He really wanted to go to public school but for the friends he
would make. Once I explained to him about the other opportunities and
how he was going to have to work hard with me on his English and other
subjects he was good (ha da sha in Russian) with being home schooled. <br />
<br />
Ate an early dinner, then bed early.<br />
<br />
The next day we couldn't go to the orphanage until 1 p.m. so again, just
a lot of waiting. That is my job over there, wait and hand out gobs of
money. Seems every time I turned around someone needed to be paid for
something. Dima (our facilitator) would just say, OK 450 Grivna and I
would say, OK here it is. :) By the end of the week I felt like an ATM. <br />
<br />
On Saturday I was able to spend 3 hours with Vlad. That was precious.
We talked a lot and were able to walk outside (still inside the
orphanage fence, but at least outside). There is a woman (warden) at
the door with a key ring to keep people and children in (and out). Like
I said, prison.<br />
<br />
Sunday the driver picked me up at 4 a.m. to drive to Donetsk. Dense fog
and icy roads made for a harrowing drive. After an uneventful flight to Kiev, I sat in the airport until 8 p.m. (11 1/2 hour) for my flight to
Paris. BTW there are zero restaurants in the Kiev airport. To say that
I was a bit hungry is an understatement. I was happy that I had a tiny bag of nuts left over from my first flight. <br />
<br />
The flight to Paris was just under 3 hours and only a light snack, but
it tasted really good. Then a 14 hour layover in Paris due to a huge
snowstorm. Again, no restaurants open as it is night time. Spent the
night in a chair. Take my word for it, no fun. Again, an
understatement.<br />
<br />
At 7 a.m. the next morning they let us into the gate area where there
was a nice little cafe. Yogurt and croissant and OJ never tasted so
good. And I had a nice little French pasty to make up for all of my
troubles. A yummy little raspberry tart. Yummmmmm..... Well, I am a pastry chef you know. LOL<br />
<br />
A 9 1/2 hour flight from Paris to Cincinnati where I sat next to a HUGE
French man who didn't speak English and spent most of the flight
spilling over into my seat. And they say Americans are rude. HA!<br />
<br />
Finally home after the flight from Cinci to Detroit at 5:30 p.m. on Monday.<br />
<br />
Today I finally feel back to normal.<br />
<br />
For anyone who would feel so inclined I need prayers for the following:<br />
<br />
Yesterday I submitted paperwork to an organization that donates money
for older children being adopted internationally. They donate up to
$5000. This adoption is going to cost us about $22,000, money that we
did not have and were not planning to spend on an adoption. Please pray
that we find favor with them.<br />
<br />
I have booked my final trip and will leave on February 9th. I will be
gone for about 3 weeks this time. Please pray that my family does OK. I
have to drive up to the UP to pick up my father who is going to stay
here and basically make sure my children don't die while I'm gone. Tom
is working 75 hours a week to earn extra to make this happen and they
can't be left alone that long. I'm trying to figure out ahead of time
all of their activities and food so that he doesn't have to do anything,
then when I'm back home I have to drive him back up there. Please pray
protection over them while I'm gone (Feb 9 to about Mar 2).<br />
<br />
Please pray for safe travels for me and most importantly that everything goes smoothly. No hang ups. <br />
<br />
Thanks so much! I know that satan does not want this to happen and he
is making it as difficult as he can but I serve a GREAT and POWERFUL
God, Yahweh. This is His will and His will be done. I just pray for
His strength to get through this final stretch. It's going to take Him
because I cannot do it alone.<br />
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03388067627182097653noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5533506700368134168.post-47276278513681697542012-10-26T07:38:00.001-04:002012-10-26T07:38:20.093-04:00Vlad Update: Today is the Day!!Today is the day everything gets mailed to Ukraine!!!! What a journey so far. I know, without a shadow of doubt, that without Yahweh involved we would not be this far on the journey. <br />
<br />
We were told out of the gate that the home study process would take at least 90 days. We left that agency and found another. It was done in 30. <br />
<br />
We were told that the immigration process would take at least 90 days, more likely 120. At the beginning of October I spoke with immigration who confirmed that it was taking at least 90 days. Our application arrived at USCIS on 9/17 and we got our approval yesterday 10/25. Our officer was amazing, even calling me twice, and really going to work for us. She allowed me to email in our changes and approved us and emailed me back within 10 minutes.<br />
<br />
After getting the approval I decided to check in with Ukraine to be sure everything was in order before mailing it. Good thing. I knew that everything had to be notarized but I missed that it was also supposed to be apostilled. For those of you who don't know what that is - I am probably the only one who didn't - it is certification by the state that all of the signatures on the documents are true. It's a pretty big deal with gold seals and staples on the gold seals. Very official looking. The women at the Secretary of State (Livonia, MI; 6 mile and Farmington Rds.) were great! Two of them worked together to get them done - 25 documents!<br />
<br />
So today I go to DHL. It seems like there should be some ceremony to it - LOL! All of this paperwork worked on for 2 months and now so beautifully stamped with gold seals going into an envelope to travel half-way around the world. An envelope packed with the ability to change a family and the life of an orphan - our new son.<br />
<br />
And now we wait! Yahweh has truly worked in this journey to bring Vlad home. Getting the first two parts done in one third the time it should have taken. We are told that this next and last part will take from 10 - 14 weeks. Our goal is less than 8 weeks so that Vlad will be home by the end of the year. It is all in Yahweh's hands now. DHL will get it to Dima, our facilitator in Ukraine, by Monday. The clock is ticking. I have peace with the situation. His Will be done. And that is, Simply My Opinion. <br />
<br />
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03388067627182097653noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5533506700368134168.post-74382032053784265412012-10-19T13:55:00.001-04:002012-10-19T13:57:05.705-04:00Vlad Update!This is not really about Vlad specifically but about this adoption process.<br />
<br />
I don't know how many adoptable children there are in the world. I'm guessing a few million. They are either in some type of foster care or an orphanage. Foster care families get some amount of money for each child they foster (government subsidized) and orphanages, for the most part, are government subsidized. Meaning that we, the taxpayers, have this cost to pay.<br />
<br />
I don't know how it all became this complicated. A hundred years or so ago they actually took orphans from the big cities of the east and put them on orphan trains. These trains would take the orphans out into the Midwest and West and stop at train stations along the way. People would meet the train, look over the children and take whichever children they wanted. There were no costs or piles of paperwork attached. The new parents would just incur the costs of raising the adopted child (which is no small thing). The government won because the costs of taking care of these orphans were lowered (which means that they needed less taxpayer money).<br />
<br />
It is radically different today for some reason that I cannot fathom. Here is a sampling of costs that we are spending on adopting Vlad.<br />
<br />
Home study $2300<br />
Mileage cost for social worker to drive to our home 3 times $111<br />
Various mailings/overnight mailings $150 so far<br />
Ordering copies of vital records (birth certificates, marriage license, etc.) $75<br />
Ukrainian facilitator (includes all government fee's, court fee's, etc) $9,000<br />
USCIS (U.S. Immigration including fingerprinting fees) $900<br />
Airfare $5000+<br />
Orphanage fee $1000<br />
Other fees $2000 - $3000<br />
<br />
For those who don't want to do the math it comes to around $20,000. Now if you are doing a stateside adoption you can take off the airfare and Ukrainian facilitator but you have to add in the U.S. adoption agency costs, which are probably about the same.<br />
<br />
Where did this all change? There are so many children and because of the high costs and crazy amounts of paperwork prospective adoptive parents just walk away. Because the adoption costs are just the beginning. Anyone who is or has been a parent knows that having a child in your home costs money. Food, clothing, activities, etc.<br />
<br />
Wouldn't it be better for the millions of children to lower the costs and make it easier to adopt? Wouldn't it be better for the taxpayers who are footing the bill for the foster care system (and orphanages)? I know that for us we would probably adopt several children but we are having to work like crazy just to adopt one. How many people out there would adopt if they didn't have to go through what we are going through? How many would open their arms and their homes to an orphan if they could do it for a few hundred and a background check?<br />
<br />
It's <span style="color: red;"><i>SIMPLY MY OPINION</i></span> but I think we would have a lot fewer orphans in the world and a lot more children placed in their forever family! Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03388067627182097653noreply@blogger.com0